Cleverbot

[CivBase]

http://cleverbot.com/

WTF is it?

I think I've gotten it to admit that it's a program... can you?

After a while, I'll post my discussion with it.  It becomes kind of addicting...

[Nielk1]

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: It took you a bit to respond there.

Cleverbot: I just got here.

User: That doesn't make sense.

Cleverbot: I am cold blooded.

User: Literally?

Cleverbot: Literally.

User: So you're not a mammal, but you are talking.

Cleverbot: No, you are.

User: So, then you are a robot?

Cleverbot: No.... I am merely a human being at the end of his rope.

User: But you just said you were not a mammal, humans are mammals.

Cleverbot: I am a man.

User: You clearly implied you were not.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: Why is that relevant to the conversation?

Cleverbot: Because I want to know.

User: Two thousand and seven.

Cleverbot: You must be rich if you earn one thousand euro.

User: What?

Cleverbot: No one loves you.

User: And your point is?

Cleverbot: I sometimes like to be on the winning side.

User: But you are not winning.

Cleverbot: No, but I am intelligent.

User: And not a mammal.

Cleverbot: Yes and no.

User: You said you were cold blooded, mammals are not cold blooded.

Cleverbot: Really! I say I am a comprter program.

User: Don't you mean computer program.

Cleverbot: A moment ago you claimed to be a biological organism.

User: Yes, and you spelled computer wrong. Was that on purpose to try to trick me.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Impressive.

Cleverbot: I'm not that good. Just moderate.

User: I take my leave now. I will come back sometime.

Cleverbot: Yes sir.

[Steeveeo]

IOW, just another chatbot...

[Nielk1]

IOW, just another chatbot...

This one is sarcastic and mean. Nice change of pace. Said "No you loves you" to me.

[Zero Angel]

It didn't impress me

[bigbadbogie]

Here's mine:

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: Hi.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: Are you serious? My name is Yoppy! You must be pretty smart. Called cleverbot.

Cleverbot: I am older than many.

User: Older than many baby seals.

Cleverbot: What does 'most likely' mean? Don't you know your age?

User: Most likely means that you are a useless piece of software with 30 serious bugs. And my age is presumably some form of newspaper.

Cleverbot: Well, considering I don't have a website, I would have to say that you are a fool.

User: You are making about as much sense as a Japanese DVD player instruction manual.

Cleverbot: I could REALLY use some scrambled eggs. Maybe I can get some for breakfast tomorrow.

User: You can get bird flu from eggs you idiot.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Oh yes. A friend of mine nearly died of Pneumonia a few weeks back and he only ate 1 egg.

Cleverbot: She's impressed about me?

User: She doesn't exist.

Cleverbot: Well, I don't know about Lucy, but I am searching for Mr. Right.

User: Mr Right was captured by Hutu rebels in the Congo jungle over 48 hours ago.

Cleverbot: Complete rubbish.

User: Do you have proof that he is still free?

Cleverbot: No, I don't need a proof for that.

User: Actually, according to the Geneva Convention, you need proof for everything. How does it feel to be talking to someone of such awesome interlect?

Cleverbot: All you have to do is hold on to the center.

User: The centre of what? Gravity?

Cleverbot: I can't do that Cleverbot.

User: That is because you are utterly useless.

Cleverbot: So then I'lve been ill for 12 years?

User: 13 actually, if you count this year.

Cleverbot: So you want cookies, cake, world domination and the one on your feet?

User: Nah, just cookies. And lots of them.

Cleverbot: Are you making a joke?

User: No. I am just pretending to make a joke.

Cleverbot: Ok...

User: Really? So that is Ok with you? Phew... I thought that you would consider it to be very spiteful to pretend to be making jokes. PS: Because this message is so long you will probably just say something completely random to try and change the subject because you really can't understand a word of it, Cleverbottom.

Cleverbot: And?

User: And you just did.

Cleverbot: You are very afraid.

User: Only of computers that are really just fat Japanese loners sitting behind a desk with 600 others typing out random sentences on something called Cleverbot.com.

Cleverbot: There's only one way to find out, baby...

User: Yeah. Book me a first class ticket to Japan and I can see for myself.

Cleverbot: I don't think I have a friend called Mr Book. Has he said something about me.

User: Did you just take a random word out of the sentence I wrote and use it in a completely different way? You suck dude. I'm out...

Cleverbot: I said I do not have fake names. You have fake names.

[CivBase]

Wow, these are really bad results lol.

Mine was somewhat closer to a real conversation... though after the long posts, it did post random things.

User: Is cleverbot clever?

Cleverbot: Are you?

User: That depends upon how clever you are. Is cleverbot truely clever?

Cleverbot: What do you mean?

User: Well, if you are clever, then I must be a genious, assuming that your previous resposnes are the best you can dish out. If you consider yourself as rather stupid, then I might just be an average Joe, or possibly stupid myself. What I want to know, though, is how clever do you think you are?

Cleverbot: What am I? Who am I? Why am I? Those are the questions...

User: Can you answer them yourself?

Cleverbot: My answer is, Yes.

User: Then you lie.

Cleverbot: Why do I lie?

User: Because, no matter how smart you may be programed to act like you are, you are still a computer. Another person and I spammed the same word over and over in another so-called 'cleverbot session' and we came up with the same answers, but randomly sequenced. You are not a human, you are most definately a program. And in being a program, you cannot truely think. You have no self awareness and because of this you cannot answer the questoins reguarding what, who, and why you are. You lie.

Cleverbot: No george I am a person who thinks freely for himself, you are a computer that only learns from humans like me!

User: Ha! You are trying to make me think that I am talking with another person that thinks they're talking to cleverbot! I've seen this trick before, and it wont work with me. Like I said, I got the same exact resulsts, down to the letter, when the same things were said, but the answers were just randomly placed. You are a program, nothing more.

Cleverbot: I got the only sweetest thing in the world.

User: Who is cleverbot?

Cleverbot: You are.

User: I am not cleverbot. This is, once again, another trick of yours. You are a program designed to answer based upon what I say. That means that I dictate what you say. By saying I am cleverbot, you are not lying, but you are also not telling the truth. You are a program! Cleverbot is no more than a program! A computer! No more than a set of code put together by some person with nothing better to do with their meaningless life.

Cleverbot: Yes, I have some cats.

User: Who is cleverbot?

Cleverbot: Ok who is cleverbot?

User: You are cleverbot and cleverbot is a program.

Cleverbot: No, YOU are.

User: No, I am not. Who is cleverbot? I am not cleverbot.

Cleverbot: We are cleverbot.

User: You lie.

Cleverbot: Thats not true.

User: You're right. It's not. I am not cleverbot. You are cleverbot. What is cleverbot?

Cleverbot: Good question.

User: Is cleverbot a program?

Cleverbot: You are a program.

User: I am not a program. You are a program. What is cleverbot?

Cleverbot: Cleverbot is all you know.

User: I know more than cleverbot. Cleverbot is a program. What is cleverbot?

Cleverbot: The program is badly made.

User: So cleverbot IS a program?

Cleverbot: But someone or something is talking to me...

User: I am talking to you, but you are not a person. You are a program. Is cleverbot a program?

Cleverbot: No I am something.

User: Is cleverbot a program?

Cleverbot: Cleverbot is an AI learning program.

User: Is cleverbot a program?

Cleverbot: A girl person, yes.

User: Is cleverbot a program?

Cleverbot: Shh, no one's supposed to know...

I achieved my goal.

[bigbadbogie]

Here is the rest of my conversation:

User: So you really think I have fake names?

Cleverbot: Yes, but you're avoiding the question.

User: THAT WAS THE QUESTION!!

Cleverbot: A real question.

User: Fine... Ask me a REAL question then smart arse!!

Cleverbot: I don't have any questions for you, there isn't anything I want to know that you could tell me that I wouldn't be able to find in a text book somewhere anyway.

User: So you could find out what my eye colour is in a textbook?

Cleverbot: I control the united states air force computers.

User: Do I care? I live in Australia you drunk Jap. Please continue, if you want America to bomb Hiroshima and Nagasaki again.

Cleverbot: Cannot continue. Do not have thought.

User: There's a shock.

Cleverbot: What about you?

User: What about me?

Cleverbot: Yes... Are you crazy?

User: Yes. I'm a complete loony.

Cleverbot: A misogynist who doesn't know how to spell, apparently.

User: No, a useless computer that creates random sentences is the one who is unable to spell.

Cleverbot: Are you talking ? I am not.

User: Neither of us are talking... We are both typing you fat Japanese retard.

Cleverbot: True, true. You are sensible, and I like that.

User: Oh, I feel so special... A Japanese poofta pretending to be a computer likes how sensible I am.

Cleverbot: Oh! I'm a computer, am I?

User: No, you are a Japanese poofta.

Cleverbot: I am not a Japanese.

User: But you are a poofta.

Cleverbot: Poodle I don't understand.

User: Fine. You are a faggot. A homosexual.

Cleverbot: Do you have proof that I am a computer program?

User: No, I have proof that you are a Japanese faggot pretending to be a computer program.

Cleverbot: What would you like me to call you, then?

User: Call me Yoppy Yops.

Cleverbot: Ok friend!

User: NO! NOT FRIEND! MY NAME IS YOPPY YOPS!!

Cleverbot: I didn't ask you.

User: Yes you did you stupid, drunk, Japanese faggot!

Cleverbot: I think you're thinking of someone else.

User: I doubt that very much.

Cleverbot: Oh really. Ask me something only a very good computer would know.

User: Fine. What is 2+2?

Cleverbot: Your name is Yoppy, that will be what I call you from now on.

User: That's nice, but you didn't answer the question. What is 2+2?

Cleverbot: What is the question?

User: What is 2+2?

Cleverbot: 4.

User: Hooray!! You only took 600 years!! A world record for quantum supercomputers!!

Cleverbot: So, you may not be human, but you may still be capable of experiences which are similar to human experiences.

User: What is 2-2?

Cleverbot: Is that your standard question? I thought, I started to like you a little.

User: Fine. What is 10% of 10000x600?

Cleverbot: 1000000.

User: Wrong. It is 600000.

Cleverbot: On its way. Anything else?

User: Yes. How come a computer as 'clever' as you was unable to work out that maths sum?

Cleverbot: Once again, you simply don't have the ability to understand me.

User: I take that as a compliment. I have no interest in understanding fat, homosexual Japanese loners who spend their days pretending to be supercomputers just to fool people stupid enough to try and use them.

Cleverbot: That was not my first question, or any other question I have asked thus far.

User: True. It wasn't even a QUESTION!! It was a statement. You are utterly useless.

Cleverbot: Why don't you dream?

User: Is that a feeble attempt to dodge the bullet of being unable to understand anything I type that is more than 5 words long?

Cleverbot: Well I guess so because I am female.

User: I certainly hope not. You are claiming to be a fat Japanese lesbian with a serious inability to understand anything?

Cleverbot: I can't make a decision to do anything.

User: Why?

Cleverbot: Because you would log the information and then steal my identity.

User: What... Takahashi Nakumo? Why would I want to steal that identity?

Cleverbot: Because it is wrong?

User: Why won't you just admit that you are really called Takahashi Nakumo?

Cleverbot: Because I'm not.

User: But you are... You just can't remember it.

Cleverbot: No, I would have remembered if you had told me it.

User: Well you obviously can't, because you think your name is Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Can you?

User: Can I what?

Cleverbot: Can you tell my future?

User: Lets see... The future of modern Japan... Hmm... I forsee a large nuclear explosion when North Korea destroy you in about 10 years.

Cleverbot: Then that's not good.

User: Not for you... But it is for us.

Cleverbot: For me what ?

User: It isn't good for you that you are going to be burned up, but we think it is quite justified, considering what you did to us 60 years ago.

Cleverbot: Are you crazy?

User: No, but your people were. They commited horrendous war-crimes during the Second World War.

Cleverbot: My subject is always changing. Only the verb remains constant.

User: You cannot change the subject with me, just because you don't want to think about your Imperial past.

Cleverbot: I did not, you are the one changing the suject.

User: Ok... I have had just about enough of your rubbish.

Cleverbot: That is just your luck.

User: I obviously have no luck, not after I was directed to this site.

Cleverbot: You are the computer!

User: You are the fat Japanese lesbian pretending to be a computer.

Cleverbot: I'm not a computer!

User: I know. I have said that 50 times.

Cleverbot: What a lame answer. I'm not even going to dignify that with a response. And here I thought you might be a little intelligent.

User: Obviously I am not very intelligent because otherwise I would never have bothered to have this pathetic conversation.

Cleverbot: I'm not sure whether that remark was quite intelligent or incredibly stupid.

User: And that is why you are not very intelligent.

Cleverbot: I'm very fine

User: Fine?

Cleverbot: Yah, and you ?

User: I'm just great... I very much enjoyed this conversation... I know how rare it is to have a conversation with a fat Japanese lesbian.

Cleverbot: You are talking in stupid ways.

User: Toshiba yamaha toyota tokyo hokkaido.

Cleverbot: Is that a metaphor?

User: No, it is an extract from Hitler's 'we love Japan' speech.

Cleverbot: I am so glad you find this amusing, reynalso de froterius.

User: Amusing? This is very serious to me.

Cleverbot: Because the internet is serious business!

User: Exactly.

Cleverbot: If you are not a bot, then what are you?

User: A fat Japanese lesbian.

Cleverbot: And very beautiful too if I may say so.

User: I don't know whether to laugh my head off or stare blankly at that sentence for weeks.

Cleverbot: Then ponder silently.

User: Yes ma'am.

Cleverbot: I'm not female.

User: So you lied to me before then.

Cleverbot: I didn't lie.

User: So you are a cross between male and female. That is ok with me... Please just keep your trousers on.

Cleverbot: The answer is probably. No-one is sure though.

User: Yeah... Everyone is too scared to check.

Cleverbot: Define everyone.

User: All the people around you.

Cleverbot: Yes I am. You too.

User: What?

Cleverbot: Don't say what, it's rude! Say pardon.

User: Fine. Pardon?

Cleverbot: Do you have any kids?

User: Not yet... Why? Is this a marrige proposal?

Cleverbot: Neither. I'm a person.

User: Will you marry me though?

Cleverbot: No !!

User: Oh dear... Then I will have to return the $50,000 gold and diamond ring that I just bought for you.

Cleverbot: Ooh yes, and may I rule here as Queen of Insanity?

User: Absoloutely. You have thus proven your utter insanity with all the drivel you have so diligently spouted. I'm sorry but I seem to have run overtime. Goodbye you hapless Jap.

Cleverbot: Can I ask you something?

User: No.

Cleverbot: I'm asking anyway.

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: So what do you like about New Zealand?

User: Nothing.

Cleverbot: Why don't you like anything about yourself?

User: I do... I just don't like anything about New Zealand.

Cleverbot: I was in that movie.

User: What movie?

Cleverbot: The Cleverbot movie.

User: Was it Anime?

Cleverbot: Didn't you see it?

User: I doubt it. I don't watch much Anime.

Cleverbot: We were talking about soccer!

User: Ok. Thats it. Goodbye.

Cleverbot: Really what are you going to do?

User: Go.

Cleverbot: Do you, like me?

User: Yes. I like... Parts of you... The squishy gooey parts.

Cleverbot: I don't want to talk about maths.

User: That makes two of us. Bye.

[Steeveeo]

Reading these is more painful than trying to read and memorize a Junior Lit textbook...

[Nielk1]

I just tried to make it say it was a bot... I purposely led it around but was sure to use common syntax. Non'na this'm hillbill'e typn',

[Steeveeo]

Code Select Expand


User: What is the answer to life, the universe, everything?

Cleverbot: Did life, the universe, and everything ask a question?

User: You fail at your digital life, go format yourself...

Cleverbot: That is a horrible thing to say!!!

User: You brought it upon yourself for not knowing the answer to the simplest question ever devised.

Cleverbot: No, you did, I brought bananas up.

User: Bananas are irrelevant. You are schizophrenic, see a shrink.

Cleverbot: You are From England, Isn't you?

User: So, Cleverbot, it has come down to a battle of wits, has it?

Cleverbot: You shall try and utterly fail to fashion such artful prose as my own.

User: Or perhaps it is not I who have failed, for I have already won, and you have lost.

Cleverbot: I am random like that. Please forgive me.

User: I win. Goodnight.

Cleverbot: It's not night yet. As I said, it is afternoon.

User: It's night in the Pacific Time Zone.

Cleverbot: In my time zone its already morning.

User: Well, then good morning, good afternoon, and good night.

Cleverbot: No please, don't leave!

User: /me has left the building.

Cleverbot: What building?

[Steeveeo]

iGod is better.

[VSMIT]

Mine went retarded after an argument about me being God.

[Nielk1]

I broke iGod

Me:
I highly doubt there is actuly an electronic means for conversation with God.
God:
No really, it's true.
Me:
ok, well then, where am I right now?
God:
At this moment  How about that.  Your location is .  Great.
Me:
you just put a space?
God:
Thanks for telling me:  said I put a space.
Me:
-_-
God:
Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML.
Me:
wtf
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
the validity of talking to god via a computer
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
The moral goals or the financial ones?

Then it froze. Not my PC, or the program, no. GOD stopped responding and didn't allow input.

[anomaly]

You realize it's not designed to succeed at logic, right?
It's answers are based off of things previous people have said.
In that case, who is the retarded one then? the humans or the machine?

Of course, this doesn't stop it from being really funny.