Roughdraft Submission - FE Sequel

[bigbadbogie]

http://www.bz2md.com/smf/index.php?topic=2144.msg30683

Read this page.

[General_Hoohah]

I love everything you've said up to the probe thing and the mechanica stuff. Everything before that, and one small other thing, I love and want to use.

But, the reason this race spread was because they're in search of gate technology developed by the Prometheans. With it, they can instantly spread from one side of the universe to the other and destroy as many life forms as they wish. This is why the ISDF tricks them by editing a log that says that the first gate connects to a military strong hold. They change it to civilian space colony. LOL So they let the Hzarzk win a battle and get all the gate peices, then the ISDF high tail it out of there. They build the gates, turn them on, and the alien alience ships come rushing out and blow up all the Hzarzk ships (plenty where that came from, on both sides).

Also, the ancient race they came from already had biometal technology. Even though it was VERY advanced, it didn't look sleak or modern like the Scions or the ISDF. I wanted to be a little more original. These machines look like industrial death tanks, made to run people over with layers of metal, exposed rivets, and oversized canons, decorated with chains and skulls. They look like lumbering hulks made from scrap piles, but they're more than a challenge. However, they COULD become more advanced after stealing some tech from the promethians.

But there is a fact you're fogetting. The Prometheans in my story have three planets. Their home world which is a sacred place devoted to the history of their race and technology (with a research base containing a peice of the gate hidden in a swamp). Then there's a newer larger planet where their civilians thrive in a modern industrious culture, and their military strong hold which is a planet made entirely from biometal. I was thinking that one could have a techie name like CX-9.

The reason the Hzarzk came to that world wren was to search for the gate peice was mistakenly hurled towards earth after a flag ship they destroyed near that ship self destructed to keep them from getting the gate technology. The ISDF finds the piece in part of the flag ship near our galaxies outer most asteroid field, calculates its point of origin, and tries to find clues as to what happened, what that peice is for, and where to find more like it. They end up on wren, and I guess this is where they could first encounter the Hzarzk.

The swarm have nothing to do with this, or anything having to do with pods. Its just the Hzarzk spreading around the universe causing chaos until evidence from one of their battles ends up flying towards earth. Thats when we get involved and become part of this war between the Hzarzk and an allied force of different alien species.I love everything you've said up to the probe thing and the mechanica stuff. Everything before that I love and want to use. The reason this race spread was because they're in search of gate technology developed by the Prometheans. With it, they can instantly spread from one side of the universe to the other and destroy as many life forms as they wish. This is why the ISDF tricks them by editing a log that says that the first gate connects to a military strong hold. They change it to civilian space colony. LOL So they let the Hzarzk win a battle and get all the gate peices, then the ISDF high tail it out of there. They build the gates, turn them on, and the alien alience ships come rushing out and blow up all the Hzarzk ships (plenty where that came from, on both sides).

Also, the ancient race they came from already had biometal technology. Even though it was VERY advanced, it didn't look sleak or modern like the Scions or the ISDF. I wanted to be a little more original. These machines look like industrial death tanks, made to run people over with layers of metal, exposed rivets, and oversized canons, decorated with chains and skulls. They look like lumbering hulks made from scrap piles, but they're more than a challenge. However, they COULD become more advanced after stealing some tech from the promethians.

But there is a fact you're fogetting. The Prometheans in my story have three planets. Their home world which is a sacred place devoted to the history of their race and technology (with a research base containing a peice of the gate hidden in a swamp). Then there's a newer larger planet where their civilians thrive in a modern industrious culture, and their military strong hold which is a planet made entirely from biometal. I was thinking that one could have a techie name like CX-9.

The reason the Hzarzk came to that world wren was to search for the gate peice was mistakenly hurled towards earth after a flag ship they destroyed near that ship self destructed to keep them from getting the gate technology. The ISDF finds the piece in part of the flag ship near our galaxies outer most asteroid field, calculates its point of origin, and tries to find clues as to what happened, what that peice is for, and where to find more like it. They end up on wren, and I guess this is where they could first encounter the Hzarzk.

The swarm have nothing to do with this, or anything having to do with pods. Its just the Hzarzk spreading around the universe causing chaos until evidence from one of their battles ends up flying towards earth. Thats when we get involved and become part of this war between the Hzarzk and an allied force of different alien species.

[General_Hoohah]

And thats scary how me and that guy thought of such similar things without reading eachothers stuff. I've been sitting on this story for over a year. lol This is actually kinda creepy. >.>

Hmmm... well the prometheans wasn't even my idea. Someone else suggested I use them so I just went ahead and did it, cause they sounded like a good candidate.

So my responce to this is, it doesn't have to be the prometheans. All we have to do is create a new race. No big whoop. Any suggestions? So everything but the name stays, including keepint their sacred homeworld, their civilian world, and their military strong hold, and everything else I've said. The ISDF forces could find greek-like language written on ruins at this sacred homeworld, which could start another mystery. Did these people ever have contact with our ancient ancestors? What impact could that have made on human society?

There's still a lot of details that I mentioned a few posts ago, that need the blanks filled in. Now there's another blank. Who is this race? What's their name? What's their history? This gives us a chance to be more creative anyway.

[AHadley]

I'm beginning to think we shouldn't be using Prometheans too, I'd forgotten huge chunks of their backstory (Thanks for reminding me, threebie) and it doesn't quite fit. I still think we should be using a roman/greek god name for inspiration though.

[Clavin12]

I think the roman gods should be used. They are easier to form names from even if they are essentially the same gods. Although I like Athena better than Minerva... Maybe Apollonians, Athenians, Venusians, Plutonians, lol Martians, Vulcans...

[AHadley]

Plutonians, Venusians and Martians are not so sensible, since Pluto, Venus and Mars quite clearly do not have life on.

[Clavin12]

And besides. Venusians might be taken to be from Venice.

[AHadley]

People could indeed begin to wonder how so many Italians reached space without everybody else knowing.

[Mr X]

Maybe we should use an Egyptian style name instead, just for variety. My reasoning for this is that there are conspiracy theories about there being a spaceship crash in ancient egypt and that the pharoahs were not human, so my suggestion for the parent race for the Hzarzk is the Pharoans.

Now this is the good part that I've thought up:

The race that created the Hzarzk did not have advanced space travel but compensated for this by mapping out rifts in the fabric of space time that condensed this all into a map, and attached to it device fashioned from Promethean gate technology that could open these rifts, a drive that could take you anywhere in the universe and the only one of its kind. The Hzarzk were created and the last of the race had decided to hide the drive in the Pyramids on planet earth were they reamined to ensure that humans would not find it.

A couple of thousand years later and the Hzarzk are hot on the trail of the drive, for if they have it their assaults will become unstoppable. They know that if they find humans they find the drive, so when they encounter the ISDF the only thing to stop their pursuit is total extermination.

Anyone like it?

[AHadley]

If we're going by that, why not adapt things a little further and say the Hzarzk were creations of the Uler? It's a good idea all the same though. Might even mean we have a race ready-made.

[General_Hoohah]

The Hzarzk have not been around long enough to have been pheros, and they're insane. They only kill. If they had found earth that long ago anyway, we'd all be dead. So no, that won't work. Also the race who created them were a scientific race, they wouldn't have any intrest in ruling another race earlier in deveolpment who believed easily in gods.

I'm keeping the greek thing. How about the nearly killed off race could be related to the Cthonians, or the race that the Cthonians came from. Perhapse they were a wiser race who sought to attemped to spread their wisdom to less developed worlds. One of them happened to be earth. They taught the greeks of diplomacy and government Their influence on earth could be tied to the greek language. So they aren't italians, they just influenced their culture.

Perhapse they had confrontations with the Cthonians when they found out they were experimenting on the dead bodies of fallen Greek warriors. You know, leave these people alone or we'll kick your a$$. And they protected the earth against their nut job experiements, the furies.

I like where this is going... it feels a lot more BZ than previous ideas. Hell, lets make them close. They could be one of the next few solar systems over. The could be our neighbors.

[General_Hoohah]

I've decided to go with Athenians for the nearly wiped out race of ancients. Athena was the god of wisdom, peace, strategy, reason, etc.

I'm going to start working on a plot outline.

[AHadley]

Sounds good to me. Message me if you want a hand with anything, or you get stuck (god forbid ).

[Mr X]

The Hzarzk have not been around long enough to have been pheros,

I meant the race that created the Hzarzk.

I think that the Hzarzk should be searching for something that their creator's made, some artefact that will grant them power.

Just as a suggestion, maybe in the first mission you get dropped with a small patrol of scouts on an alien planet (I believe you suggested Wren) and are ordered to leave your vehicle to investigate the inside of the structure. There is a console but it isn't functioning, you find a switch and the console comes back on, you read it and it says something in the language of the Athenians, it is translated by the ISDF using a translator they made following their research into the peice of a ship they found. It translates as something along the lines of:

"I think they have gone, but my air recyclers are nearly drained and shall soone run out. If you are reading this, they have likely already sensed you. Leave now, or face a terrible fate"

You then get a garbled message from your squad, they are locked in combat with a very skilled enemy. They are nearly wiped out but manage to overpower their foes through strength of numbers and command orders you to retreat. You Set out for your dropship but are ambushed by a heavy enemy strike force, which you have to try to break through.

Opinions?

I'd like to write a peice of the story, is there any peice that you would like me to do? I really want to get involved.

[AHadley]

That's probably a bit heavy for a first mission, but good for a first contact. I would suggest some small skirmishes with the EDF, Scions or Hadeans first, a known enemy. Maybe even a space battle to control the debris field around the ship wreckage.