This is only a rough draft. The ideas are sound and organized but I don't have a name for the race of war criminals, and the dates may need to be altered. I'd rather not create an alternate time line, and be part of the official FE story line... if thats possible. I'd love to be part of that! So I'm trying hard to work it into the story and wedge it in between stuff, without being intrusive to the story line.
I figure at the end of the story, the ISDF could mostly remain out of the Earth's solar system, concentrating on fighting against anything that wants to start anything with earth, becomming more and more powerful. BUT they remain focused on keeping the space safe for the earth, and always remembering the lesson they learned from the evil acts that Braddock used the ISDF to commit. Never again will they allow such a man to lead them. They're more organised at this point, more powerful, and more focused on their goal to protect Earth and its allies. But they'll rarely visit earth, and when they do the AAN doesn't appreciate them and the EDF don't care for them either.
Story Concept D, Rev. 03
Part 1
On March 14, 2025, an object slowly drifting towards our solar system is spotted by Hubble II. After observing it for nearly five years, NASA concludes that it's derelict, does not seem to have any means of propulsion, so far has no signs of life, and that it looks as if its sustained massive hull damage. They have many guesses as to what it could be, but what ever it is the US Military wants it bad!
As the object becomes closer and closer, communications traffic between NASA and key US officers in the EDF and AAN increases. In 2030, before the object can be damaged by the asteroid field around our solar system, several biometal space vessels kept hidden by the US from the EDF are fitted with stealth technology, and are sent to intercept the object, board it, and tow it to Pluto where it remains hidden behind the planet for study.
By 2032, an overwhelming amount of data is gathered from the object. It is found that it is nearly one hundred years old, only a small chunk of a much larger ship, and that section of ship had once been used as a storage supply deck. Not only that, but this massive ship was a warship! Records and schematics of highly advanced military based biometal technology, crafts, weapons, and nanotechnologies are also collected, including something they cannot ascertain without further data; a small piece of a very large, highly advanced machine that had probably been under development at the time of the war ship's destruction as this technology was more advanced than anything else found and locked away carefully in a protective shock proof case.
Conspiracies start to form and the US government decides to hell with the EDF. They're tired of squabbling 3rd world countries, the bureaucratic bullhoot, a weak paper tiger Earth Defense Force with poor funding, low standards, terrible almost non-existent training, and old outdated technology.
In 2033, the ISDF is secretly reforms in a joint effort with certain countries as allies, including Japan, England, South Korea, Russia, and Germany.
Later in that same year, in a joint effort between all the participating nations, the ISDF seals up every hole in the vessel and easily converts the large craft into a suitable research facility. Leading teams of scientists from each country board the object and over the next five years, they make tremendous strides, improving biometal and other technology by combining their own knowledge and ideas with what they found aboard the derelict ship section. With nanotechnology, they learn to build highly advanced equipment that can manipulate the building blocks of matter, giving scientists the ability to strip a molecule of the elements making it up, then use those elements to create new molecules! By combining this type of technology with biometal, they learn that what they thought they knew about biometal technology was only a small stepping stone leading up to what is actually possible, although they haven't gotten it all figured out yet and won't for a long time.
As a result of this research, biometal collection and production increase in speed and use less energy, and many forms of technology, ships, and structures become more and more efficient and require less biometal and energy to produce.
So far the ISDF has managed to keep all of this a secret, but trouble arises in 2036 when a mole is discovered. In a desperate attempt for his life, the mole flees from a research station on Pluto aboard a scout, then escapes on a small vessel hidden in a canyon. A mission is staged to eliminate the mole before the can meet his contacts on Titan, but the ISDF doesn't make it in time and the EDF is made fully aware of the situation.
The AAN furiously demands that the ISDF stop all activity, but they refuse, defending them-self with the explanation that they shouldn't deprive humanity of such important technology and the protection it can provide, just because of the evil acts of one man who abused it. As a result, the AAN angrily throws out all nations involved with the ISDF from the AAN and the EDF. Skirmishes break out on several planets, but they are called off by both sides before things get ugly. From this point on, the ISDF is on the borderline of being an enemy to the AAN and EDF.
Within a year, through the use of the ISDF's new biometal technology, a massive collection of space stations, space ports, research facilities, ship yards, bases, resource stations, and training facilities are established on Pluto, Neptune, Europa, and mining facilities along the asteroid belt. Enormous asteroids are mined for their biometal and all other elements for use in nanotechnology. Everything needed to sustain and support life can now be replicated using nanotechnology, and storing supplies was no longer a problem because they could be created so quickly.
By 2038, space travel between solar systems was possible within only weeks and large ships were under construction.
By now the trajectory of the space wreckage and point of origin had been long determined. In 2042 a fleet of ships fitted with new engine technology leave their docks and set out on the mission to scout the object's point of origin. Later in that same year, the debris field from which the derelict vessel originated was found. A small research outpost on a nearby planet was established. It was a desert like planet with small tropical oceans, and scattered wild life, astoundingly not that far different from life on our planet. The planet had low biometal resources, but served as a more than an acceptable place to establish the first base outside our solar system simply for research.
According to data logs found in escape pods found on its surface, the planet was named Wren. However, no traces of who ever occupied them were ever found. After several years of sifting through wreckage on and off the planet, data put together from several damaged flight recorders were put together and they were able to calculate what direction the ship had come from by slowly collecting and translating data logs, and found records of stops around the galaxy. A staff of thirty-two men and women were left on Wren to finish establishing a base and to conduct research. The rest returned home with what they had found, and the decision to trace the war ship's route and find the pieces to this mysterious unknown technology was made.
Later that year in the winter of 2042, plans are drawn up and work begins on new ships for this long mission, measuring over three miles long, and armed to the teeth for what ever lie ahead. A squad of newly developed Nanotech Recyclers were loaded into its storage bays for the establishment of military bases. Its decks included living quarters and all the comforts of home for over fifty thousand military personnel, black ops, research and development, and security personnel. The ship also featured many areas for training, relaxation, entertainment, etc. Several war cruisers designed to piggy back on the flagship were also built. Four squadrons of space fighters, 2 squadrons of recon ships, a new fleet of utility ships, and a new fleet of drop ships were also loaded into its hangars.
To be continued......
Story Concept D, Rev. 03
Part 2
After nearly five years of development and construction, the flagship begins its journey in 2047.
After several months of travel the flagship arrives at a war torn planet, whose ecosystem has been totally killed off. It didn't seem to have once been a heavily populated planet in the least, as they only found a small collection of military installations. The planet's surface was similar to Titan, but larger in size, about the size of earth. They explored the creepy abandoned military installations, finding thousands of corpses and wrecked war units. The events on this planet were estimated to have happened about the same time as the destruction of the war ship. Using information found on the barge and the space debris, they figured out where to find the next piece, which was found in a hidden underground prototype development lab, still being guarded by automated mechs and defenses. Who ever was developing this incredible technology was taking great lengths to hide it from someone, but from who is the question.
By combining every bit of data they could find, starting with the debris fields at Wren and ending with this new find, they head to another solar system, finding a similar base. The story is the same, and they defeat another automated defense system after a good long battle, and secure the next piece which was again stored in a secret location. They also try to find as many clues as they can and attempt to put together the mystery of who created this technology, what it was intended for, and who's been killing off its creators. Also, they can't help to wonder which side was which. Were the creators of this technology or their enemies the 'bad guys'?
The ISDF travel to another solar system and drop their troops and science teams on a new planet, but this time they make an unpleasant discovery. A once largely populated world is completely killed off. The massive amount of destruction is frightening as they observe the billions of skeletons and crumbled cities littering the planet. Again they find another piece, found in a dangerous base that is not only guarded but falling apart, resulting in several men losing their lives, and only one successful rescue of a recon team.
It is decided to stay for a short spell and explore this planet. There may be other forms of technology to be found, if this is the home world of the race who created the technology they're looking for.
Their suspicions pay of big. They find nanotech biometal production and research facilities that are mostly all still half in tact! Because of this find, they learn the basics of biometal production and how to better access and manipulate biometal memory cells. Several more highly advances in biometal production and technology.
During their explorations of this planet they find half destroyed ships of several types who they believe were most likely the invaders who destroyed the planet. The heaviest unit is a large hover tank that looks extremely dangerous and menacing; with fire power that far exceeds our own. The decision to beef up our forces is made and new units are designed using the latest technology, including tech from the invading ships that were found. One of these units still under development is the newly redesigned Grizzly, a larger heavier tank compared to the Sabre, with twin heavy canons, a mortar, and a special like the original, but also added is a newly designed weapon; a new type of ammunition using energy charged explosive projectiles and fired from a heavy chaingun.
Nervously but still determined and with new confidence in their updated arsenal, they follow the clues and travel to another system, this time finding an underground military base similar to the previous ones. This planet is very strange. It's made up entirely of forests, with stone roads and clearings. This place looks as if someone went through a lot of trouble to make it look as nice and pleasant as possible. There are also ancient ruins with markings that are startlingly similar to the Greek language. Language experts translate the writing and learn this planet was the original birth place of a race named Prometheans, the same race who was wiped out on the previous planet. They also believe now for sure that this race is responsible for the creation of the highly advanced tech they've been searching for and may have even invented biometal!
[Information about the Greek God Prometheus, is explained to the player at this point and how they believe there was some truth to the mythological tale, and how the Prometheans may have impacted human history back in the times of the Greeks.]
This time however, they are attacked on the ground by several light scout ships. Simultaneously, long range communications are discovered to be coming from a military outpost on the planet's surface. A mission to destroy the communications array fails to get to the outpost in time, and the long-range message deep into outer space had already been received and replied to. They of course secure the next piece. What really scares them however is the signal was sent to the same exact location the next set of clues pointed!
Many passengers aboard the ship become nervous, mostly the research teams, and request that they do not continue any farther until more data is gathered before they go rushing into anything. A meeting is held to discuss the possible consequences of going any farther, but because they are so close to figuring out what this extremely advanced unknown technology is, they decide to continue. They secure the next piece of the puzzle, and continue forth to the next solar system. While on route, they prepare for the worst, making sure every ship and every piece of equipment is in top condition.
As soon as the ISDF sets up a base, they are instantly attacked by ground forces. After a long vicious battle and many casualties, the next puzzle piece is secured and the ISDF quickly retreat to the next solar system. However, the aliens they encountered were a horrifying race of war criminals. They loved to kill, butcher, and torture any human they could find, and decorated their ships with blood, skulls, and dead bodies. These aliens were insane and their lack of tactics was their greatest strength, making their tactics erratic, suicidal, and hard to predict. It was recorded by one ISDF soldier that a live human soldier had been chained to the front of an enemy tank, screaming as friendly fire ripped his flesh apart. Daunted and distraught, they press on, but none of them will ever be the same after what they saw.
Figuring they don't have much time until their new enemies catch up to them, they establish several military bases. Alien craft arrive soon afterward, and the ISDF try to fend off the enemy for as long as they can until the next piece is found, but the primary military base falls. A team is sent out to try and get the base on line, and successfully hold off the aliens for a good amount of time, but after several raging battles, the aliens find the next piece and leave the system. Battered and nearly beaten, the ISDF find the site where the next piece was taken from, gather the data they need to know where the aliens are going, then quickly board the flagship and head for the next piece of the puzzle. While on route, the ISDF begin to rethink their strategies. New units are designed, and new weapons, better technology, and better armor are added to their existing ground and air forces. Also, they'll be much better prepared the next time since new Grizzly is fully ready to go and all the recyclers have been programmed for its production. The Howitzer is also brought back, a redesign of the old one from the days of the NSDF.
The next planet is astonishing. A synthetic planet made entirely from biometal! (It is later discovered, this planet was the military stronghold of the ancient alien race killed off by the race of war criminals) However, the aliens have been here for a while and have already established a large base, but seem to be having trouble obtaining the next piece, as it is being guarded by a massive force of automated air and ground units.
The human research teams by now have finally found out what the aliens already know. This mystery technology is the individual pieces to a warp gate, enabling travel from one place to another instantly from one gate to another, no matter the distance! The best part is, if they can collect all the data and pieces, they'll be able to replicate it! Realizing the significance of this kind of technology, a massive string of battles breaks out, all three sides fighting each other. The aliens use every dirty trick in the book and then some. Each time an ISDF base is brought back on line after being ravaged, another one is taken down. Meanwhile they're also fighting off the automated forces, and trying to figure out exactly where the next pieces are being kept, while also trying to protect their research personnel.
The battlefields are littered with wreckage as far as the eye can see. Thanks to the new Grizzly and several other new units, the ISDF and their enemies are almost even now. Battle after massive battle the ISDF some how endure against the bloody tanks decorated with chains and skulls, that just seem to be driven by a blood lust to kill, until finally both sides figure out where the next part is being held. Both stage an assault.
The ISDF and aliens create a base near the site at opposite ends and launch a strike, resulting in all three sides surprising each other by all of them meeting at the same time, resulting in one final major battle on this planet. Even with the newer types of ships and weapons the ISDF have been developing, made specifically to fight against this new enemy and their vicious style of warfare, they still fall, but not without securing the next part. They quickly leave the system in pursuit of the next piece, but not before leaving behind a tactical nuke to destroy any evidence of where the next piece is.
Suffering heavy loses but still able to hold their own, the ISDF scrambles to attend to their wounded and repair or replace any damaged or destroyed recyclers before their new enemy can catch up with them. However, aliens have a harder time finding the next site, giving them a brief three months to try and get reorganized. At the next site, the ISDF finds out by translating a log, that unless the coordinates are changed without the correct security codes, once the gate is first activated, it will automatically connect to another gate that has been built in the center of a collective of several massive military bases.
The ISDF gets a sneaky idea and corrupt the log so instead of military bases, it says civilian space stations, then stage a fake mission where they group all the pieces in one place, then pretend to try and protect them, intending for the aliens to win and secure all the pieces. It works, and the aliens piece together the gate close to the planet. Several days later they activate the gate, and an entire war fleet of mixed alien ships come out of the gate and destroy the alien warship fleet with a massive barrage of fighters and warheads. The fleet of war ships contact the human flagship and make peace with the humans, explaining to them what this is all about and welcome them as a new ally against the race of war criminals they and their allies have been fighting for thousands of years. They speak greatly of the Prometheans who created the biometal and the warp gates, but tell us that race has been nearly wiped out, save for a small handful who were rescued from stranded ships and bases that were evacuated before being completely destroyed. They were an ancient race of highly advanced beings, and were the first to be attacked by the race of war criminals. They were the ones who created an alliance of five different species of intelligent life, against the threat. However, they were also the first to be completely wiped out as punishment for that action.
The ISDF join the alliance, but are soon told they have left a trail for their new enemy, almost right to earth! Their base on wren had been captured and the coordinates to earth had been discovered by their enemies! However, because of the condition of the ISDF forces, who cannot fight at the moment because they are in such bad shape and are no match for their new enemy's main forces, several alien flag ships and destroyers have been sent to guard the Earth's solar system. While the ISDF recover, they are educated about this new enemy, how they fight, their technology, and how to counter against it. As a result they develop new units, including new ground forces, air units, advanced resource and production plants, weapons, and defenses. They are also given shield technology, and other various technologies to help them in the new war.
The human flagship returns home, using new stealth technology to slip right by enemy scout ships. They reappear right in front of their home base on the edge of their solar system, startling those who had never seen such advanced technology. Everything is explained, and the ISDF marches out in large numbers with a show of their new military strength, bursts into the AAN and tells them that they don't have a choice now. There is a new enemy, much more powerful than anything the EDF has ever faced, and the ISDF is going to protect earth whether they like it or not.
Soon a fleet of war ships are built, and nearly all of the ISDF recruits hundreds of thousands of people from countries all over the world, who soon ship out to fight Earth's new enemy in a string of intense battles across the galaxy, trying to help restore peace once again and protect their home planet and its allies from anyone who commits evil acts.
The ISDF have three main goals now which can be played over and over in multiplayer games:
1. Engage and destroy ANY hostile forces converging on the earth
2. Establish bases and take back the Prometheans military stronghold planet (unnamed so far)
3. Punish these war criminals for their crimes by destroying every last one in combat.
THE WAR RAGES ON
I just updated part 2 again for better grammar, and better transition from the non-BZ version of the story to the new version. Its a tad smoother read now.
stcejorp tnemnrevog terces rof noitatuper a sah otulp taht deciton i
sdsrawkcab gnitirw m'I ?kceh eht tahw
sorry bout that a setting was changed by accident and i dint know how to change back bu ti got it know
Either write like an actual person or dont write at all.
And yes, it is chosen as a Gov. Project location alot.
After all that work I did and the first post is that? Thats actually kind of insulting. :x
Wait! I think I just realised my ADD kicked in again. Who was the bad guy in BZ2... its been a while since I played through the original BZ2 story. Was it Braddock or Manson?
Braddock, who is dead at the end of BZ2's Scion Tree (you kill him, or rather, his Walker).
I don't think it is up to you to decide what is a community project.
Normally most of the group that forms would make the story and not one person. If one person makes it, then its more that person's project and the rest his mod team.
Where did that come from? I'm not trying to control anything....
!?!?!?
I think its great, sorry if my first post was insulting i apologize i didn't mean to be. i like it.
Quote from: General_Hoohah on June 23, 2009, 10:46:30 PM
Where did that come from? I'm not trying to control anything....
!?!?!?
What? I just said that because the title changed (or this is the first time I noticed the thread title). I'm not saying anything wrong or bad here?
I'm confused....
I think he thinks that since you renamed this after the 1.3 community project your assuming that its going to be the storyline for it, but your not you said so.
Its a submission. Whether its used by you guys is up to you. Thats why its called a submission.... lol
But it probably won't be. No one ever uses my story ideas. I can give someone the best story in the world, and they won't want to use it. I really don't know why I'm doing this.
The great thing about this story however, is that I reworked it so it doesn't interfere with the FE story at all! The only thing that changes is a few countries are kicked out of the AAN, and thats it. The ISDF goes and does their own thing and the EDF goes about their own business.
Those countries can be allowed back into the AAN at the end of the story, which means NOTHING will interfere.
However, this opens the doors to a lot of possibilities in future stories.
- The ISDF is back around and out doing their own thing
- There are new tensions between countries in the AAN
- There's a tip in the balance of power, even though the ISDF doesn't want to have anything to do with the AAN and only cares about protecting earth
- There are new races introduces and a new enemy
- In the future there could be conflict between the EDF and the ISDF for starters.
First of all, we need to decide whether or not there will even be a 1.3 community project. I rather doubt it.
I think we should definately do it! I'd help!
I think we should do it. I've never worked on a mod before.
We should totally do it. Ill obviously try to help. I can probably do some long winded and in depth testing.
Were calling it Remembered Allies though. Thats a fact.
Quote from: VSMIT on June 24, 2009, 01:24:40 AM
First of all, we need to decide whether or not there will even be a 1.3 community project. I rather doubt it.
I rather like my pet projects so I'm out until they are done. If someone wants to turn Factions into a community thing I'm all for it since I was already asking for every insane idea anyone could muster. That mod's plans are currently MP only.
Quote from: cheesepuffly on June 24, 2009, 03:13:46 AM
Were calling it Remembered Allies though. Thats a fact.
Grammar fail, I cannot support such failed statements and in fact treat them as the inverse of the truth.
Took a lot of will to resist fixing the quote it was so bad.
I would very much like to be part of a CP. As for the Storyline, Hoohah, have you picked somewhere to put it? I notice the ISDF begin bringing back BZ1 units as is seen in FS, that's a nice idea :)
This is the best idea for a storyline I have heard in a long, long while, though it may be difficult to stop the missions being samey (attack this base and get the tech, attack that base and get the tech...)
I like his story. I still have yet to in depth check it over as he requested but I have certainly read it.
Im out until i complete TA5 E-Pack and Serenesis. Mainly because i want Serenesis out ASAP and because i know with the way its heading its going to dwarf everything. Shame i dont have more time for BZ2 :(. Not only that but my mod takes place ten-15 years post FE and the universe is a VERY different place now. I know its snidey, but ive got so many good modding ideas i dont want to pass around until its out.
Plus im not taking part in anything called 'remembered allies'. Especially if it doesn't fit the storyline...
I'm not against spicing up the story, if it starts to feel repetative.
Also, every story needs a main character? What's a good name for the hero, the guy you play?
I've always liked Skywalker. That sounds like a cool name.
This whole thing sounds interesting. I kind of like it...
Maybe the name should be put up for vote as well. You know people submit names and all that.
There shouldn't be a title until we decide what story, or if we even know if we're doing this. I really want to... but it seems like everyone wants to go off in their own direction, which is too bad. If we pulled together as a community we could get something done for once. lol
You do know why im calling it that right N1?
Quote from: cheesepuffly on June 24, 2009, 06:27:17 PM
You do know why im calling it that right N1?
Because you think nobody's as imaginative as you?
When I can't think of a name, I use the 1990s Census:
http://www.bzcomplex.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=26&t=65
Quote from: General_Hoohah on June 24, 2009, 11:46:24 AM
Also, every story needs a main character? What's a good name for the hero, the guy you play?
In PF, the WIP name for the main character is Stephen Black, but its not really very imaginative. I think we should certainly use something that doesn't have the initials JC this time. (John Cooke, Joseph/Joe Corbin)
In aRc the current names I am working with as the main characters are:
Rosaline Torres and Daniel Bennet
I have them planned out down to their Meyers-Briggs Personality Classifications and the various inter character interactions that brings.
How about Dorado?
I thought we'd wait til we've decided weather or not to make a community project, then decide what mod it should be, and then decide what the heros name should be.
I know... that name has just been stuck in the back of my head lol. Sorry.
Someone make a new topic that calls for a vote.
Quote from: VSMIT on June 24, 2009, 07:25:27 PM
Because you think nobody's as imaginative as you?
Forgotten Enemies was the first community project right? Remembered Allies is the opposite of Forgotten Enemies thus making sense as the next title.
And well, hard to say i think im fairly imaginative, im sure the Chezoria story isnt as good as the aRc one, but it will pass and you will wuv it when the time comes.
There's that acrynym again. What is this aRc??
It's technically the name of a clan I was affiliated with a while back (it's since died), named Angels Reign Clear (I know, I didn't think of it), and was originally kind of a small group of modders (the clan leader had started 3D modeling in Rhino 3D) with some players mixed in, and since N1 and I joined, wanted to have a clan mod (kind of like the Starfleet mod). Thus the aRc mod was born. It's evolved considerably since its conception.
@cheesepuffly: Just because it's the opposite of Forgotten Enemies doesn't mean you get to parade it around as the de facto CP name.
Oh yeah. Sorry I'm not very good with acronyms. Unless its something I'm very familiar with like hp, psi, or rpm, then I easily forget what it stands for.
I think Cheesy was joking.
From now on, I think I'm going to ask that if someone wants to help edit and write, they have to tell us what experience they have. You know, like college level english, if they excelled in highschool english, or now many years of role playing they've done.... if they've written anything, etc.
The reason why is, unless we do that, every noob in the forum will want to write a story for the mod.
Every noob on the forum should be allowed to write a story for the mod. Doesn't mean they'll get chosen, but it's better than excluding them entirely.
Sorry, I didn't mean it the way that sounded. I just don't want all the good ideas to get burried under the many many ideas of everyone wanting their ideas heard. You know what I mean? The last time this happened, so many people had so many different ideas, it blew up in our faces. I'm so afriad of that happening again that I think we should put light limitations on who can do that, so the good ideas are heard and work actually gets done and 30 people aren't screaming out different ideas.
My intentions are good... I'm just not so great at wording it. :-P
Anywho, I really love my story.... but it needs more. More drama more conflict. Something to really pull you into the story. Anyone got any ideas they'd like to share?
AFAIK, N1's already shared my idea with you.
And if people really want this to happen, they will read every single submission before making a decision.
AHadley and I were just brain storming, and came up with a GREAT IDEA!
Tell me what you think guys.
The race of war criminals could be an ancient race who commited crimes against their own kind through horrible genetic experiments with infants, to create the perfect super soldiers. They were successful! (kind of) The problem was the offspring of all their subjects. They slowly grew insane, then started mutating. They also give off strong pherimones that almost work like radar. It makes them perfect hunters since they're more organized in an instictual way, allowing them to attack like packs of animals, and immediately know who's friendly and who isn't. The ancient race couldn't kill off the result of their experiements with biowarefare because they were immune to everything. Worse yet, they started carrying diseases that were mutating.
The ancient race was punished for their evil through their own actions, and the plague they started grew out of control and now spreads terror throughout the galaxy. They are intelligent killing machines, bent on murder, void of any compassion or reason. All they care about is killing.
The ISDF is now forced to face them, but as a result its making them sick and ISDF. They're catching the diseases this race of monsters is carrying. All it takes is one rip in a suit on the battlefield, and for that person to be in contact with someone else or board a ship with other people.
Not only do you have to try to survive against the race of war criminals, but you also have to survive against the thread of disease. At the end the hero can get sick and nearly die, only to be saved the allied alien force who have the antidote.
What do you guys think? All I need is for someone smart to fill in some of the details. :D
Sounds extremely similar to the Swarm (minus the disease part) and the Zerg from SC (Again, minus the disease part).
Just to expand on that idea, maybe the war criminals could have been once very much like the other sentient species, but fell victim to a genetic experiment by the Prometheans(pre- their creation of biometal) to create a virus that could be fired at planets in warheads. The intention of the virus was to drive enemies insane so that they were incapable of organising a resistance. To an end it worked when they tested it on the homeworld of one of their enemies, but it also increased the strength of the victims and gave them heightened levels of bloodlust, worse still, a handful retained intelligence. When the Prometheans made planetfall they were ambushed and overpowered by these new super beings and in the process many of them also fell victim to the virus and joined the enemy ranks. Now armed with Promethean tech they take to space to begin their conquest of the Prometheans, who form an alliance (keeping the fact that they have created these new beings a secret) and fight back.
But throughout the war, several scientists of the various factions figure out what the Prometheans have done. To prevent news of their mistake becoming common knowledge the Prometheans are forced to change all historical records to look like the war criminals (maybe we should give them a name) have always existed, they also set up a small group of assassins known as the Shadowknives to silence anyone who discovers the truth.
This puts the Prometheans in an arkward position, for the only way for the alliance to beat their enemies is for them to remain united. Yet to maintain their alliance the knowledge of the warhead that started it must be guarded, and the alliance would become torn if they discovered that the Prometheans had been killing their own. This guarding of the knowledge becomes even harder as the war rages on and peoples from all sides succumb to the virus and join the growing horde. It is only when there are a handful of Prometheans left and riots break out as pandemics of the virus break out on civilised planets that had repelled the invaders that the remaining handful of Prometheans(who happen to be the shadowknives themselves, having escaped the destruction of their race on their own private carrier) decide to make the secret public knowledge.
not really.... and trust me I wasn't aiming for that. I'm just trying to find a way to add drama and more conflict. A way to pull the player into the story.
Mr X, is there a way to make them not so innocent? The goal of my story was to create an enemy you can hate, not feel pitty for. I want them to be the epitome of EVIL!! The kind of enemy you want to kill. I want to pull the player into the story, and make them want to get their hands dirty and want to run over every single one of those sob's.
Quote from: VSMIT on June 25, 2009, 04:42:57 AM
@cheesepuffly: Just because it's the opposite of Forgotten Enemies doesn't mean you get to parade it around as the de facto CP name.
Yes i do.
But yeah im joking.
Thats what me and the voices in my head are calling it at this moment. Until the official name comes out.
@General_Hoohah
Then go to the players house and grab him.
Then find the players house and drag him. vbfnnnnnnn
Are you joking again? Cause I don't get it....
What if you put a girl in the story? A one to feel for. to make it more dramatic.
I actually thought about that idea... but its just too cliche. Its been done so many times in so many games, its just not a good idea. Every game it seems is just looking for an excuse to use a hot girl to make a bunch of nerds' pants tighter so they'll buy the game. Then there's the love stories... but eh. Its just too much of an overdone idea. The original BZ2 story had that already.
Edited my previous post to add more detail.
Quote from: General_Hoohah on June 25, 2009, 06:41:11 PM
Mr X, is there a way to make them not so innocent? The goal of my story was to create an enemy you can hate, not feel pitty for. I want them to be the epitome of EVIL!! The kind of enemy you want to kill. I want to pull the player into the story, and make them want to get their hands dirty and want to run over every single one of those sob's.
Well, I was thinking that they were quite evil to begin with, but the Prometheans made them worse. If thats not enough then how about the leaders are the ones that remained sane by staying in underground bunkers, and who are sadistic and relish in watching their brethen engage in gory rituals, made all the better after the Prometheans improved them.
And, my viral idea could work very well if you think about it as it allows for infighting in the ISDF, when some become infected, to be included in the storyline. There could be a level where you have to fight your way to the bridge of your carrier on foot and take out enemies who are also on foot.
Quote from: General_Hoohah on June 25, 2009, 06:45:53 PM
Are you joking again? Cause I don't get it....
Man, your humor gland must be wayyyy undersized. You said you wanted to grab the players attention so i suggest going to his house and grabbing him thus solving your problem.
Ignore the second time i typed that those extra random letters.
My keyboard also smells like jelly, weird.
I think for an enemy to be truly "evil" his evil must have depth. Not mere cruelty but also immorality, ill will, a want to do wrong things, a hate of the hero.
Not necessarily. Evil is a matter of perspective. If a person goes against the morals of a single group, but while adhering to the morals of his group, he is only evil in the eyes of that other group.
Also, a single-mindedness about getting a task done can make a person seem evil, if he does terrible deeds to complete that task. However, he would not be evil in his mind, or in the mind of those he's helping.
Your definition of evil is very black and white. Evil is never black and white.
Quote from: Clavin12 on June 25, 2009, 07:01:34 PM
I think for an enemy to be truly "evil" his evil must have depth. Not mere cruelty but also immorality, ill will, a want to do wrong things, a hate of the hero.
I think the chaining of live enemies to your vehicles constitutes this, but also they could take pleasure from watching their enemies being tortured, and pay highly those who come up with more painful methods.
I love your ideas Mr X, but here's the thing. This race of war criminals I'm designing takes some explaining and I think I've left some things out. You see, they fight more like packs of animals, which makes them more dangerous but at the same time makes them incapable of certain types of warfare. They're very animalistic. They don't really use stratagies. In a way they're masters of tactics because they don't use any, they just jump out and viciously beat the crap out of you. LOL
Yeah, they've figured out how to use the biometal technology of their ancestors... but thats about it. They don't know how to improve it or customize it. They just use everything in standard spec. So they wouldn't really be able to figure out how to make a bioligical warhead... just doesn't fit with their MO. Sorry if it feels like I'm shooting people down.
I am very interested in what else you can come up with next though! You're very creative!
This enemy wants to wipe out every living thing in existance, for fun, sport, and the enjoyment of making other's suffer. They murder children if they find any, love to torture, and love to smear blood all over themselves and their tanks. If thats not evil, I don't know what evil is.
They still need a name. Maybe with some of the lesser-used letters like K, Q, X, Y, Z...
Yueh, Waldo, Yang, Xander, Karlos, Zeke, Quarlos...
Lieutenant Mitchell?
I meant the war criminals :P
Lieutenant Mitchell sounds good to me, at least it doesn't begin with C. What's his first name?
Quote from: General_Hoohah on June 25, 2009, 07:26:18 PM
I love your ideas Mr X, but here's the thing. This race of war criminals I'm designing takes some explaining and I think I've left some things out. You see, they fight more like packs of animals, which makes them more dangerous but at the same time makes them incapable of certain types of warfare. They're very animalistic. They don't really use stratagies. In a way they're masters of tactics because they don't use any, they just jump out and viciously beat the crap out of you. LOL
Yeah, they've figured out how to use the biometal technology of their ancestors... but thats about it. They don't know how to improve it or customize it. They just use everything in standard spec. So they wouldn't really be able to figure out how to make a bioligical warhead... just doesn't fit with their MO. Sorry if it feels like I'm shooting people down.
I am very interested in what else you can come up with next though! You're very creative!
This enemy wants to wipe out every living thing in existance, for fun, sport, and the enjoyment of making other's suffer. They murder children if they find any, love to torture, and love to smear blood all over themselves and their tanks. If thats not evil, I don't know what evil is.
Maybe we should go down another route then, the war criminals could have been trying to breed super soldiers in a genetics program (using stolen Promethean equipment, far more advanced than their own) that went wrong. They enhanced the strength of the test subjects and removed most of their capacity for higher thought to make them incapable of insubordination.
But removing part of the brain had an unforseen effect, the warriors they bred reverted to animal instincts. They overthrew their civilisation as the tech used to make them was too advanced for others to stop. In war they acted like animals, hunting in packs and not killing their prey but instead eating it while it still lived.
When a routine Promethean patrol 100 years later saw that the planet was abandoned they made planetfall to investigate. They discovered what happened but could not get back to their ship fast enough and were overrun. Thus giving the war criminals advanced space travel.
And as for a name, how about the Hzarzk.
There's a nice bit of backstory for you, seems to mold perfectly into what we've already got. And I like the name too.
Is there some way to randomise the model used for something? say...
geometryName = ivtankaoo.xsi
geometryname = ivtankb00.xsi
geometryName = ivtankc00.xsi
Might be useful for the Hzarzk if it was possible because then they can have maybe five different models for their tanks, which would make them look patched together and less organised.
Well here's what I have so far for that race. I'll read your post again when I've had some sleep.
- Race of scientists commit horrible genetic experiments on their own babies to create ultimate super soldiers to fight for them.
- Super soldiers deemed successful and are mass produced
- Super soldiers breed, and their children grow insane with a deep blood lust, somewhat reverting back to their animal instincts, develop pherimones, and begin to mutate into horrible monsters
- Scientists and super soldiers overwhelmed and slaughered
- Mutated super soldiers steal all the advanced tech from that planet and make war with any intelligent life they can find
- Mutated super soldiers, now war criminals, begin to spread like wild fire wiping out every world they can find.
- Prometheans make peaceful contact, but are attacked
- War criminals steal biometal tech, and make their own crude changes to it.
- War criminals continue to mutate and grow more insane, developing more of a blood lust.
- They find the Promethean's home world and learn of the gate to other worlds. They want to spread to those worlds so they can kill more people so they slaughter the Prometheans in search of the gate parts.
- ISDF contract diseases from mutant war criminals
- The ISDF enters the story and become a nuesance, but are also nearly wiped out between disease and military defeat
- ISDF trick the war criminals into getting all the peices and opening the gate right into a military strong hold who wipe them out.
- ISDF are given the antidote and informed that the war criminals are headed for earth for revenge
- ISDF allies themself with the new alian aliance and return to earth to recruit new men and women, fortify the earth's solar system, and tell the EDF and the AAN to go to hell.
- ISDF mainly leave the solar system with their forces and make war on the race of war criminals
And of course while all this is going on the ISDF slowly become more and more powerful, picking up new biometal tech as they go along. And this version of the story is mainly from the perception of the enemy, not the ISDF.... even though the idea is to play as the ISDF. I'm just concentrating on the race of war criminals to figure out the backstory right now.
By the way, what is a Hzarzk?
And good idea about the tanks AHadley! I like that idea! I also have some really good basic ideas for the tanks. Really nasty looking things. The kind of tank that looks like it was meant for mass murder.
Quote from: AHadley on June 26, 2009, 06:47:50 AM
Is there some way to randomise the model used for something? say...
geometryName = ivtankaoo.xsi
geometryname = ivtankb00.xsi
geometryName = ivtankc00.xsi
Might be useful for the Hzarzk if it was possible because then they can have maybe five different models for their tanks, which would make them look patched together and less organised.
I seriously doubt it. Check the TA5 changelog for confirmation, though. If you wanted him to have different models, just specify different models for different missions.
no way to randomize models.
Or better yet, how about the whole universe explodes!
According to science it already is exploding.
Expansion is not the same as Explosion.
Quote from: cheesepuffly on June 26, 2009, 03:54:55 PM
Or better yet, how about the whole universe explodes!
If you don't want to take this project seriously then you don't have to post here.
Quote from: VSMIT on June 26, 2009, 04:24:55 PM
Expansion is not the same as Explosion.
Just a matter of speed
Not speed. Force.
Very well then force. But this is a bunny trail, so what does it matter?
You guys are really off topic. If you're not going to contribute to my thread, please post elsewhere.
So far, I've got the good guys (ISDF), the hero Lieutenant Mitchell, the extinct bad guys who created the bad guys (unamed race), the bad guys (Unnamed war criminal race), a nearly extinct race (Prometheans) who started the war by accident, a plague that nearly wipes out the ISDF forces, and an allied league of alien races you meet towards the end.
To me, the story sounds busy enough. I don't think it needs anymore action or drama. What it needs more now is details. The names of the races, scientific explanations of how the race of war criminals was created, ideas for new ISDF forces, more backround about the alien races, names for the allied alien races... and a whole lot of other stuff.
Quote from: General_Hoohah on June 26, 2009, 07:37:25 AM
Well here's what I have so far for that race. I'll read your post again when I've had some sleep.
...
Are we talking a game's enemy race here or Scifi B-Movie bad guys?
???
It just seemed to describe the bad guys in many of the Scifi B-Movies I have seen. Most of your list I mean.
Quote from: General_Hoohah on June 26, 2009, 07:37:25 AM
By the way, what is a Hzarzk?
It was my suggestion for the war criminals' name, I thought it was a good one because I think alien names are better when its hard for an English speaker to pronounce them. If you make it something like the Darg or whatever, I just sounds like someone has made it up.
Oh by the way, don't mean to get picky here but I doubt they would call themselves the ISDF, even if just for the sake of their alliance with the scions.
I've come up with a new name alternative back story, if anyone thinks its any good:
The government of Great Britain had always perceived the AAN's restrictions on biometal usage as a dangerous mistake that would leave Earth badly undefended. Because of this the BRF(Biometal research facility) was founded in an abandoned world war 2 bunker beneath London, with the intention of creating technology that could be handed to all the nations of the AAN should a threat too great for the EDF to handle reveal itself. The exact date that the facility was founded is hard to trace due to the limited records, but it is estimated to be around 2010. They made great advancements in technology through their studies, but in the year [insert year relative to story events here] the project was unearthed by the AAN when they received an anonymous tip off. Britain was cast out of the AAN and told that they would not be allowed back in until they turned over all evidence of their research over. Britain refused.
Unknown to the world, America and Russia had also sought to create similar schemes, but because of their known tendency towards the use of biometal for military purposes, the AAN had decided to strictly monitor their movements, which had meant that they could not find a way to keep it secret. When they heard of Britain's plight the American government almost immediately turned their back on the AAN to help their long time ally, and it was not long before Russia followed suit. Before long Canada and Australia also joined this alliance who, much to the bemusement of the Russians, dubbed themselves the New Commonwealth. Together they formed the New Commonwealth Space Taskforce, NCST for short, to counter the threat posed by the EDF.
With the technology of the BRF and the manpower of the other nations the NCST stood ready to counter anything, be it alien of the EDF. It was then that an unidentified object entered the solar system...Then the two factions of Earth could have a race to be first to retrieve the object (NCST winning).
Sorry if no-one likes it, but the name ISDF has had a lot of shame brought upon it, and it would be hated by scions and humans alike.
And I quite liked the idea of calling them the New Commonwealth, because Commonwealth implies empire building.
I don't think the actions of one man should shame an entire group to be honest. We don't hate germany after all.... time moves on and we learn to forgive and move on. We can't hold on to every little scrap of grudge and hate. It would consume us. Besides I like the ISDF, I always have. They're good, they've just been caught in the middle of bad circumstances. Other than what braddock did... I don't remember much else. What else did the ISDF do, and what where the circumstances?
I really like the name of the race you thought up of though. :) Kudos on that. I've been trying to find a name for them for weeks, but I couldn't think of anything.
I really want to see the ISDF return, and reinvent themselves with new technology, new morals, new ways of doing things... and keeping their noses clean from that point on, and being the symbol of hope for the earth they were supposed to be from the beginning.
Ok then, do you want me to adapt my origin story so it fits with them being called the ISDF, or do you want a completely different one altogether?
If its the latter, then could you give some guidelines about what you're looking for? And I'll write an origin story around them.
:?
There already is an origin for the ISDF. I think I need someone like Avatar to provide details about the Prometheans, and all these other races, and events... and what led up to them. He's pretty much the story guru. Calling Avatar! We need you! *puts up the avatar signal*
I'm not interested in ripping up large parts of my story and redoing it, its already good the way it is for the most part. I'm just looking for details and explinations for stuff thats already in it.
Like for existance. The Hzarzk were created by the scietists of a super intelligent ancient race of beings who were once one of the major players of the biometal wars. Maybe we've never heard of them, which would give us a chance to be more creative.
Anyway, this unnamed race commited horrible genetic experiments on their own young, resulting in a great deal of pain and suffering. Eventually they create the ultimate super soldier. Immune to most forms of biological warfare, stronger, faster, better eye sight. They announce the project as a success and create a huge army of super soldiers. However, something goes horribly wrong. A generation later, the offspring of the super soldiers develope a powerful bloodlust. They start to slowly mutate, and become even more poweful than the super soldiers. They grow to be up to 10 feet tall, grow larger boneier jaws, longer jagged teeth, cold black eyes, longer arms, stronger legs, and become more hunched over. They also develope powerful pherimone tracking senses, and the way they fight also develops into an animalistic nature. They become masters of geurilla warfare, often surrounding their prey quickly then ripping them to shreds with their claws and teeth.
They quickly overwhelm their own people, killing, torturing, and mutilating anything alive they can find. Their own race suffers the consiquences of their own horrible acts towards their own young.
The Hzarzk begin to breed, populate their new homeworld, and eventually learn to control the biometal technology left behind by their creators. By now their blood lust has grown, they need to kill. They leave their homeworld in search of other lifeforms to murder.
At about this time the Prometheans make the mistake of contacting them with peaceful intentions. The Hzarzk quickly attack, nearly killing them all. The Prometheans retreat back to their military stronghold, a planet made entirely of biometal (unnamed). The Hzarzk eventually overwelm them with their larger numbers and equal stength in biometal technology, and gain control of this massive biometal resource.
The Prometheans, desperate for help, form an alliance with a number of other species of life from near by galixies, which strike back at the Hzarzk, pushing them back. Millions of Hzarzk are exterminated, and they retreat to their homeworld. There, they begin to breed, doubling their previous numbers.
Twenty or so years later, the Hzarzk return, more determined than ever. A large number of them attack the Promethean homeworld where they learn of a new gate technology that can instantly transport them to other galexies where they can kill more than ever before. Over the next fifty years, they slowly invade the Prometheans' civilian world, killing every form of life they can find. They eventually destroy that world, killing everything off, leaving only billions of bodies rotting in the industrial wastes of a once thriving species. For now, fortunately, they do not know of the Prometheans homeworld. A holy place dedicated to the history of their species.
However, the automated defences and allied forces make their efforts to find the gate peices very difficult.
They do however learn of one peice being held in a battle ship holding orbit over a planet named Wren. They immediate attack this battleship, board it and nearly kill everyone on board in search of the second peice of the gate, while their main forces continue to fight for for the first peice on the Promethean civilian world. The captain realizing they're after the gate, activates self destruct, and the cargo section of the ship is mistakenly hurled away towards earth. The Hzarzk search the debris and planet for years, trying to find the missing gate peice but never locate it.
I guess the first meeting between the ISDF and the Hzarzk could happen on wren. :) A small outpost of scouts.
But there's a lot of information missing. Who is this race who created the Hzarzk? What's their backround? What kind of immoral genetic experiements did they commit? Why did it go wrong? Where they at war with the Hadeans? What about the other major players in the biometal wars? Where did they fit into that? What's the history of the Prometheans? Their language is similar to greek, so did they contact earth thousands of years ago? How did that effect the human race? What is the name of their original homeworld? What's the name of their civilian planet? What is the history behind it? What is the name of their biometal planet and where did it come from? Did they make it? The prometheans ARE rumored to have created biometal, but it could be a myth. Didn't the Cthoneans create it? Or was the the Hadeans? I'm rusty on my BZ1 trivia. :P
I've already figured out what the Hzarzk look like and what their vehicles generally look like. But what about the Prometheans? What did they look like, what kind of biometal technology did they use? What do their ships look like? Does the ISDF get to talk to the last remaining Prometheans behing guarded by the allied forces?
Who's in the allied forces? What are their names? What kind of biometl technology to they use? What do their ships look like?
Like I said, there's a LOT of missing details!!!
I don't know if you've considered this, but perhaps the vehicles of the Hzarzk should look like animals to reflect their nature.
For example, you could have a walker with multiple pairs of legs that looks like a scorpion, it could have a weapon on its tail (I'm thinking mortar, because it would have an elevated position), two rockets where a scorpion would have pincers, and guns on either side of the mouth.
Either way I think that they should be dark reds and black, with spikes protruding from them.
If its alright with you I'll fill in the missing details about the Hzarzk and their creation,
I'm thinking that they are made from the DNA of the race that made them, but they changed their name to Hzarzk to shed the association with lesser beings. Anyway, I think I have some pretty good ideas for filling in the gaps, and I have nothing to do at the minute anyway.
I've been holding onto this a long time for another mod, but I can say it will not look like it does for that mod and I will not mention what mod so no real issue:
(http://www.bzcomplex.com/myfiles/unlisted/bvwalk.png)
Yes the tail bends in game to aim.
Quote from: General_Hoohah on June 27, 2009, 05:34:40 PM
Calling Avatar! We need you! *puts up the avatar signal*
Like most of us I have my own take on what the story of biometal is all about. I've stated it personally over and over again but I'll do so again.
BZ1 tried to show us a cycle by telling us that our myths were real. In BZ1 we learn that an ancient race came before us, reached a high point of technology, and then destroyed themselves with it. That technology ended with biometal, and the unleashing of the Cthonian Furies. The story of Icarus is used to illustrate a race reaching for the stars, but being burned by their own desire for more...
In the end of the game we watch what's presumably a chunk of biometal head towards Earth while the narrator states that he hopes it doesn't all happen again, but if it does he hopes that whatever race finds biometal is lucky enough to win their own battles against their own Furies.
Like Battlestar Galactica, "All this has happened before, and all will happen again." seems to me to be the true central theme of biometal. Each race that finds it, makes it, is attacked by it, or however they're introduced to it, faces their own destruction if they can't overcome their warlike desire to use it to conquer.
I expand this idea backward in time, as I see nothing that states that ONLY the Cthonians developed biometal. Like many great inventions and discoveries it's more common than you think for multiple people to come up with roughly the same thing, especially in the fields of hard science. I take the liberty of applying the cycle idea to multiple races across the universe as I see biometal as the ultimate expression of a Race's scientific achievements.
That being said there's room for all types of Races of biometal users, from the Swarm to the Mechana, from Humans to Hadeans. I'd like to see Races that use biometal differently than the plain old NSDF/ISDF/Scion ways, but then again this is a game and it has to be relatively easy to get into the Race you're playing... things that are TOO wacky or crazy probably won't get played...
So, there's room for all, but it's always good to put as much thought and creativity into your Race as you can. Like RD says, think outside the box...
***
Just saw Nielk1's turret... and really wish we had the option of 'recoil' being a spinning motion... :)
-Av-
The Gatling mesh came from Greenheart. Thank you again Greenheart.
I think the body may need lengthening so that the recoil doesn't make it topple over backwards :P Does look awesome though.
I've just thought, what if the Prometheans created the Hzarzk from themselves? It fits with their name, as Prometheus stole fire from the gods in greek mythology, and messing with life is stealing something that only Gods should have. Prometheus got punished= Prometheans nearly wiped out. (Yes, I know that Mary Shelley had this idea with Frankenstein). Opinions?
Sorry, mate, already done :P I was speaking with General Hoohah earlier over MSN and this is what we came up with. The name of the Hzarzk home planet is not yet certain. This also ties in very neatly with FleshStorm, though Lizard may want to chip in with his plans for the data in the Promethean Probe seen in Mission 7.
The race that originally occupied the Hzarzk home planet (Ares) began to experiment with genetic splicing. One of their experiments was to splice the DNA of some of Ares' more vicious wildlife with that of their own species, in an attempt to create a species of genetic super-soldiers. They immunised this new breed, which they named the Hzarzk, against all known forms of disease. Unfortunately, they miscalculated the amounts of DNA they were using, and their attempt to prevent the DNA spreading down bloodlines failed. This meant that the enhancements they had made to these soldiers were passed to their offspring, but they also discovered that they grew more potent too. The young were insane, almost envolving into a more intelligent version of the animal from which they had evolved. They mercilessly slaughtered all the life they could find on their planet, and once they had exterminated everything they began to move towards other planets, using their predecessors' primitive space travel technology.
It is at this point that the Prometheans first made contact with them. They had not realised the fate of the (name of predecessor race), and had intended to make peaceful contact with them, but their ambassadors were ambushed on Ares' surface and were killed, thereby giving the Hzarzk their own more advanced technology.
Using this new technology, the Hzarzk began to spread even further. They attacked the Prometheans' second planet Hephaestus, completely eradicating all life on it, and using the extra technology they found there to further advance their slaughter. They eventually reached Prometheus itself, and the planet fell amidst the unstoppable onslaught. Shortly before their destruction (though some Prometheans somehow survived), the prometheans launched many probes, which headed for different planets in the galaxy. They hoped that these probes would find sentient life, as they carried warnings of the Hzarzk and the dangers they presented. The races which had decoded their probes entered into an alliance with the Prometheans to attempt to destroy the Hzarzk.
One of these probes landed on the small desert planet of Oasis, though the life there had long since died out, leaving only their mechanical defender, the Mechana Defence Network, which guarded the probe ferociously. It was eventually defeated by a small human EDF force, who discovered the probe, and thus the Hzarzk.
The EDF were not the first humans to discover the Hzarzk, however, as we well know. The ISDF had encountered them decades before.
Afraid the Prometheans' name doesn't have much to do with them either... Lizard named them, he gets rights on the storyline over anybody else. This isn't canon until he approves it.
Bio-metal is cheese exposed to cosmic radiation.
Nuff said.
In that model N1, how did you get that background?
Lizard commented on the Purpose of the probes before.
The Promethians had discovered biometal late in their existance, after which the release of Nemesis happened, who inturn created and utilized the Swarm ancestors to fight against the Promethians. Durring the fights against them, the Promethians found that biometal can kill the Swarm, but it was too late. The Promethians were near extinction, so they created the probes of biometal and sent them out in the galaxy to provide any and all sentinent life that may face the Swarm the weapon to defeat them, Biometal.
http://www.bz2md.com/smf/index.php?topic=2144.msg30683 (http://www.bz2md.com/smf/index.php?topic=2144.msg30683)
Read this page.
I love everything you've said up to the probe thing and the mechanica stuff. Everything before that, and one small other thing, I love and want to use.
But, the reason this race spread was because they're in search of gate technology developed by the Prometheans. With it, they can instantly spread from one side of the universe to the other and destroy as many life forms as they wish. This is why the ISDF tricks them by editing a log that says that the first gate connects to a military strong hold. They change it to civilian space colony. LOL So they let the Hzarzk win a battle and get all the gate peices, then the ISDF high tail it out of there. They build the gates, turn them on, and the alien alience ships come rushing out and blow up all the Hzarzk ships (plenty where that came from, on both sides).
Also, the ancient race they came from already had biometal technology. Even though it was VERY advanced, it didn't look sleak or modern like the Scions or the ISDF. I wanted to be a little more original. These machines look like industrial death tanks, made to run people over with layers of metal, exposed rivets, and oversized canons, decorated with chains and skulls. They look like lumbering hulks made from scrap piles, but they're more than a challenge. However, they COULD become more advanced after stealing some tech from the promethians.
But there is a fact you're fogetting. The Prometheans in my story have three planets. Their home world which is a sacred place devoted to the history of their race and technology (with a research base containing a peice of the gate hidden in a swamp). Then there's a newer larger planet where their civilians thrive in a modern industrious culture, and their military strong hold which is a planet made entirely from biometal. I was thinking that one could have a techie name like CX-9.
The reason the Hzarzk came to that world wren was to search for the gate peice was mistakenly hurled towards earth after a flag ship they destroyed near that ship self destructed to keep them from getting the gate technology. The ISDF finds the piece in part of the flag ship near our galaxies outer most asteroid field, calculates its point of origin, and tries to find clues as to what happened, what that peice is for, and where to find more like it. They end up on wren, and I guess this is where they could first encounter the Hzarzk.
The swarm have nothing to do with this, or anything having to do with pods. Its just the Hzarzk spreading around the universe causing chaos until evidence from one of their battles ends up flying towards earth. Thats when we get involved and become part of this war between the Hzarzk and an allied force of different alien species.I love everything you've said up to the probe thing and the mechanica stuff. Everything before that I love and want to use. The reason this race spread was because they're in search of gate technology developed by the Prometheans. With it, they can instantly spread from one side of the universe to the other and destroy as many life forms as they wish. This is why the ISDF tricks them by editing a log that says that the first gate connects to a military strong hold. They change it to civilian space colony. LOL So they let the Hzarzk win a battle and get all the gate peices, then the ISDF high tail it out of there. They build the gates, turn them on, and the alien alience ships come rushing out and blow up all the Hzarzk ships (plenty where that came from, on both sides).
Also, the ancient race they came from already had biometal technology. Even though it was VERY advanced, it didn't look sleak or modern like the Scions or the ISDF. I wanted to be a little more original. These machines look like industrial death tanks, made to run people over with layers of metal, exposed rivets, and oversized canons, decorated with chains and skulls. They look like lumbering hulks made from scrap piles, but they're more than a challenge. However, they COULD become more advanced after stealing some tech from the promethians.
But there is a fact you're fogetting. The Prometheans in my story have three planets. Their home world which is a sacred place devoted to the history of their race and technology (with a research base containing a peice of the gate hidden in a swamp). Then there's a newer larger planet where their civilians thrive in a modern industrious culture, and their military strong hold which is a planet made entirely from biometal. I was thinking that one could have a techie name like CX-9.
The reason the Hzarzk came to that world wren was to search for the gate peice was mistakenly hurled towards earth after a flag ship they destroyed near that ship self destructed to keep them from getting the gate technology. The ISDF finds the piece in part of the flag ship near our galaxies outer most asteroid field, calculates its point of origin, and tries to find clues as to what happened, what that peice is for, and where to find more like it. They end up on wren, and I guess this is where they could first encounter the Hzarzk.
The swarm have nothing to do with this, or anything having to do with pods. Its just the Hzarzk spreading around the universe causing chaos until evidence from one of their battles ends up flying towards earth. Thats when we get involved and become part of this war between the Hzarzk and an allied force of different alien species.
And thats scary how me and that guy thought of such similar things without reading eachothers stuff. I've been sitting on this story for over a year. lol This is actually kinda creepy. >.>
Hmmm... well the prometheans wasn't even my idea. Someone else suggested I use them so I just went ahead and did it, cause they sounded like a good candidate.
So my responce to this is, it doesn't have to be the prometheans. All we have to do is create a new race. No big whoop. Any suggestions? So everything but the name stays, including keepint their sacred homeworld, their civilian world, and their military strong hold, and everything else I've said. The ISDF forces could find greek-like language written on ruins at this sacred homeworld, which could start another mystery. Did these people ever have contact with our ancient ancestors? What impact could that have made on human society?
There's still a lot of details that I mentioned a few posts ago, that need the blanks filled in. Now there's another blank. Who is this race? What's their name? What's their history? This gives us a chance to be more creative anyway. :D
I'm beginning to think we shouldn't be using Prometheans too, I'd forgotten huge chunks of their backstory (Thanks for reminding me, threebie) and it doesn't quite fit. I still think we should be using a roman/greek god name for inspiration though.
I think the roman gods should be used. They are easier to form names from even if they are essentially the same gods. Although I like Athena better than Minerva... Maybe Apollonians, Athenians, Venusians, Plutonians, lol Martians, Vulcans...
Plutonians, Venusians and Martians are not so sensible, since Pluto, Venus and Mars quite clearly do not have life on.
And besides. Venusians might be taken to be from Venice.
People could indeed begin to wonder how so many Italians reached space without everybody else knowing.
Maybe we should use an Egyptian style name instead, just for variety. My reasoning for this is that there are conspiracy theories about there being a spaceship crash in ancient egypt and that the pharoahs were not human, so my suggestion for the parent race for the Hzarzk is the Pharoans.
Now this is the good part that I've thought up:
The race that created the Hzarzk did not have advanced space travel but compensated for this by mapping out rifts in the fabric of space time that condensed this all into a map, and attached to it device fashioned from Promethean gate technology that could open these rifts, a drive that could take you anywhere in the universe and the only one of its kind. The Hzarzk were created and the last of the race had decided to hide the drive in the Pyramids on planet earth were they reamined to ensure that humans would not find it.
A couple of thousand years later and the Hzarzk are hot on the trail of the drive, for if they have it their assaults will become unstoppable. They know that if they find humans they find the drive, so when they encounter the ISDF the only thing to stop their pursuit is total extermination.
Anyone like it?
If we're going by that, why not adapt things a little further and say the Hzarzk were creations of the Uler? It's a good idea all the same though. Might even mean we have a race ready-made.
The Hzarzk have not been around long enough to have been pheros, and they're insane. They only kill. If they had found earth that long ago anyway, we'd all be dead. So no, that won't work. Also the race who created them were a scientific race, they wouldn't have any intrest in ruling another race earlier in deveolpment who believed easily in gods.
I'm keeping the greek thing. How about the nearly killed off race could be related to the Cthonians, or the race that the Cthonians came from. Perhapse they were a wiser race who sought to attemped to spread their wisdom to less developed worlds. One of them happened to be earth. They taught the greeks of diplomacy and government Their influence on earth could be tied to the greek language. So they aren't italians, they just influenced their culture.
Perhapse they had confrontations with the Cthonians when they found out they were experimenting on the dead bodies of fallen Greek warriors. You know, leave these people alone or we'll kick your a$$. And they protected the earth against their nut job experiements, the furies.
I like where this is going... it feels a lot more BZ than previous ideas. Hell, lets make them close. They could be one of the next few solar systems over. :D The could be our neighbors.
I've decided to go with Athenians for the nearly wiped out race of ancients. Athena was the god of wisdom, peace, strategy, reason, etc.
I'm going to start working on a plot outline.
Sounds good to me. Message me if you want a hand with anything, or you get stuck (god forbid :lol:).
Quote from: General_Hoohah on June 28, 2009, 03:13:23 PM
The Hzarzk have not been around long enough to have been pheros,
I meant the race that created the Hzarzk.
I think that the Hzarzk should be searching for something that their creator's made, some artefact that will grant them power.
Just as a suggestion, maybe in the first mission you get dropped with a small patrol of scouts on an alien planet (I believe you suggested Wren) and are ordered to leave your vehicle to investigate the inside of the structure. There is a console but it isn't functioning, you find a switch and the console comes back on, you read it and it says something in the language of the Athenians, it is translated by the ISDF using a translator they made following their research into the peice of a ship they found. It translates as something along the lines of:
"I think they have gone, but my air recyclers are nearly drained and shall soone run out. If you are reading this, they have likely already sensed you. Leave now, or face a terrible fate"
You then get a garbled message from your squad, they are locked in combat with a very skilled enemy. They are nearly wiped out but manage to overpower their foes through strength of numbers and command orders you to retreat. You Set out for your dropship but are ambushed by a heavy enemy strike force, which you have to try to break through.
Opinions?
I'd like to write a peice of the story, is there any peice that you would like me to do? I really want to get involved.
That's probably a bit heavy for a first mission, but good for a first contact. I would suggest some small skirmishes with the EDF, Scions or Hadeans first, a known enemy. Maybe even a space battle to control the debris field around the ship wreckage.
They're already searching for something that will grant them the greatest power that suits their needs. Advanced gate theck that will give them instant access to places they've never been before, teaming with all the life they could ever kill. Thats what this entire story revolves around. And hold your ideas until I finish the plot outline. Angstromicus and AHadly have helped me enough to work out some of the details and iron out a few problems, but I'm still not done.
I just remembered about this topic, moving :-D.
Edit: I'm thinking about seriously trimming up this topic so only posts pertaining to the story remain. Any objections?
Quote from: General_Hoohah on June 27, 2009, 11:13:39 PM
I love everything you've said up to the probe thing and the mechanica stuff. Everything before that, and one small other thing, I love and want to use.
Hi, I suspect this is one of my first posts here, so, Hi everyone!
Anyway, while reading your post, (theres a small clip of it above) I noticed that you Ctrl-V'ed twice, thus resulting in a repeat of what you already said, please fix your post, thanks.
Has the full name of the main character been determined?
how about Hadrith as the name of the Athenians home world? (not the one made of biometal, the planet one.)
So, who are the ones who created the Hzarzk? the Athenians? if so, then,
QuoteI've decided to go with Athenians for the nearly wiped out race of ancients. Athena was the god of wisdom, peace, strategy, reason, etc.
what you said here doesn't make sense, cause if Athena was supposedly a God of: ...... wisdom.... reason... then, how would that help with their name if they made the Hzarzk, in way you said they did?
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Anyway, I think your story here is pretty good. i'm not too sure if i like the disease spreading part, but, it's a pretty good storyline. :-)
And, I was thinking, you could make it so that rather then having the Hzarzk result ACCIDENTLY from the mutated offspring of some genetically altered Athenians, maybe you could have it so that someone intentionally made it so that the offspring of the supersoldiers became mutated, and started killing off the Athenians, and thus, you have the main "bad guy" and it turns out that the Hzarzk are fully under his control....
what do you think?
Hoohah hasn't been on since the 7th, so I think that if you want to work with this storyline, go for it. But know that you will probably be the only one.