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Hey, would you look at that. It's story time! PT. 3 POSTED!

Started by VSMIT, October 20, 2009, 08:25:05 PM

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VSMIT

AHadley and Mr X wrote what is featured in this thread.  I looked it over, asked questions and more or less did nothing to it.  Remember the rules: no drastic changes to the story, no flogging deceased equines, no flaming.  I'm also adding a new "rule."  Please try not to use Christian religious figures (I know that the whole "Adam and Eve" thing from Full Circle was liked a lot, but we don't need Christian Zealots breathing down our necks), if you're going to suggest a character or something based in religion, make sure that it is from Ancient Greek religion, not modern religion.

First up is the proposed backstory for the 3rd Cthonian (read: new) faction, written by Mr X.

As of now, the 3rd Cthonian faction is unnamed, and is currently called [NN] so we can actually reference them.

In the long history of the Cthonians, there were many attempts by members of both sides to set up a third faction next to the long standing feud between the Olympians and the Hadeans. Many of these were merely short lived foot notes on the long history of a constant war; they were either destroyed by the larger factions or were simply starved of resources when they became isolated from the more civilized worlds of the other factions.
One breakaway faction stands head and shoulders above the rest though; they set up a utopia for those who no longer wanted to fight. This is their history.

Origins:
As the Hadeans and Olympians expanded their empires, the solar system that they began in became full. It is for this reason that both sides began sending colonists to other solar systems in order to become even bigger, evidence for this being the still existing Cthonians who have been encountered by the EDF and Scions in recent years.
The world on which the [NN] faction existed is in one such solar system. The Hadeans and Olympians had both sent colonization teams, each with a medium sized military escort, as they would be too far from other worlds to get support quickly (in fact the traveling time was several years), and scientists who had refused to turn their talents to creating weapons of war.
What neither side had anticipated was that the other would be there, and so the leaders of both colonies met to try to convince the other to leave. As one would expect neither were successful. The outcome was therefore the start of a confrontation, with the military escorts fighting each other. Eventually the fighting became so bad that the escorts were worn down and began trying to conscript the civilians and force the scientists to help. Many of them on both sides became very unhappy with this, and so many of them tried to flee.  At some unknown point two large groups of refugees (one from each side) encountered each other, their leaders talked and eventually they decided to join each other and form their own faction that wasn't constantly at war. They found a world that was just outside the area of space that had been explored by the other Cthonians and colonised it. The better of the scientists among them worked together and succeeded in terraforming the world so that they could inhabit it.

The golden age:
For the next decade or so the [NN]s prospered, their scientists creating ever more brilliant feats of technology thanks to them not having to concentrate on war. All the while the two colonies that they had come from had become full blown military bases, and had fallen into a stalemate with the wider scale war preventing reinforcements from being available.
The [NN]s finally decided that they were ready to re-introduce themselves to their former allies, with an offer of remaining neutral. At first this seemed to be going well, but then the leaders of both sides heard of how great [NN] technology had become. They decreed that their rivals must not be able to get it first and so the colonies (being the only ones near enough) were ordered to attack.

The war:
They arrived at the same time and when the [NN] refused to co-operate with either side the Hadeans ordered a mass extermination, with missiles fired from orbit to take out the citizens of this world. The fighting would probably have ended the [NN]s there if it were not for one crucial detail, the Hadean and Olympian armies were fighting their former friends. A fraction of both of the offensive armies rebelled and tried to go to the aid of their former comrades. Though they could not save any of the settlements on the world they succeeded in saving some of the populace, including most of the scientists who had made the world so great (this had been a priority for the rebels, whichever side had them would have an enormous advantage). They went underground, forming a resistance movement, and striking at the attacking armies' weak points where they could.
Soon the fighting took both sides to the quarrying areas of the planet, where they found some heavy duty mining lasers. They took these and turned them into brutal weapons of war, and each side used them to shoot down the other's carrier craft. The war became a "Do or Die" situation, as without carriers retreat would be impossible.

Comment, another part will be added later.
I find that if I don't have a signature, some people disregard the last couple of lines of a long post.
Quote from: Lizard
IQ's have really dropped around here just recently, must be something in the water.

Clavin12

C l a v i n 1 2

sabrebattletank

Great! What is the player, a Hadean who rebels?

Nielk1

Would you mind if I rewrote that with some more grandiose language? Same stuff, just different letters.

Click on the image...

VSMIT

Quote from: sabrebattletank on October 20, 2009, 10:53:23 PM
Great! What is the player, a Hadean who rebels?
We (the community, not just Mr X, AHadley and I) decided early on that the player race would be Scion.

Quote from: Nielk1 on October 20, 2009, 10:57:06 PM
Would you mind if I rewrote that with some more grandiose language? Same stuff, just different letters.
Why?
I find that if I don't have a signature, some people disregard the last couple of lines of a long post.
Quote from: Lizard
IQ's have really dropped around here just recently, must be something in the water.

sabrebattletank

Quote from: VSMIT on October 20, 2009, 11:00:18 PM
We (the community, not just Mr X, AHadley and I) decided early on that the player race would be Scion.

Word. OK then.


Nielk1

Quote from: VSMIT on October 20, 2009, 11:00:18 PM
Why?

It just seems week and fumbling. Then again it is draft 1 isn't it. :-P

I've been writing some stuff lately and you know how I start to hold my work (and all other work) up to nearly masochistic standards.

Click on the image...

VSMIT

If you'd like to, N1.  Just don't kill yourself.
I find that if I don't have a signature, some people disregard the last couple of lines of a long post.
Quote from: Lizard
IQ's have really dropped around here just recently, must be something in the water.

AHadley

I did that with the other part, I'm just not sure how well... but it does come out more professional when it's done.

VSMIT

Next part!

Part One: The Discovery

Twenty-four months after Operation Guard Dog prevented a Hadean invasion of Earth and eighteen months after the Dragonfly disaster, Scions on core pick up a distress call originating from just outside the explored sections of the galaxy. The writers of the message seem to know who its recipients will be, as it refers them as both Scions and humans.

The Scions contact the AAN and the EDF, who as a sign of goodwill send a small detachment force under the command of a Major to assist the Scion's much larger investigative force. A lieutenant in this detachment force is close friends with one of the Scion force's commanders. They have fought together before during the Dragonfly incident and they are recognized by their supervisors to be a good team.

Upon arrival it is discovered that a large structure on the surface of the seemingly lifeless moon is jamming their sensors and preventing a proper scan of the surface from taking place. The commander and lieutenant are sent down to the surface with a small task force to reconnaissance and, if possible, shut down the jammer.

When the force reaches the surface they discover signs of a struggle: many dead Cerberi hulls, along with some that seem to be of Scion origin but that neither the EDF nor the Scions recognize. They proceed with their orders and head towards the structure to investigate, intending to return to examine the remains later. Once they reach the structure, however, they encounter its automated defense system, consisting of both defensive emplacements and vehicles. These forces are neutralised, and it is speculated by the Scion scientist that had it not been for the Cerberi attack force they would not have activated, as it seems they are programmed to recognise their heat and engine signatures. He also speculates that had it not been for the Cerberi attacking the force would have been much, much stronger - possibly even tenfold what they encountered.

Once the battle is over the recon force claims the structure and begins to investigate within, shutting it down and allowing a full scan of the moon. From this structure they learn two things: Firstly the reason for the Cerberi presence - located deep within the facility (which is much larger than they had originally estimated) is a piece of technology which allows the bearer to travel large distances at beyond the speed of light, known to modern science as the Acclubiere drive, which would allow great advances over the Hadean StarPortal (between fixed points) or the Scion Wormdrive (between weakened points in the fabric of space). Secondly, they discover that the defence systems were programmed to react to Cerberi engine signatures, thus meaning that had the Cerberi not turned up the facility would be theirs for the taking. They also encounter a more detailed plea for help from deeper within the building, which they (and the rest of the Scion/Human force) immediately heads down to investigate. This message includes details of the Acclubierre drive and how to use it, but not of who wrote the message. Whoever they are, they beg the Scions to help them by using the drive. A flight program is already programmed in, but instructions are given for its attatchment to the Ark III's worm drive (which the unknown writer(s) seem to have intimate knowledge of).

A race with technology this advanced would be a very useful ally to the Scions especially since they seem to know the Cerberi. The Scions also decide that a device this powerful must never fall into enemy hands.

With this in mind the Scions destroy the remaining defenses inside the building and capture the device. It is far, far beyond their understanding, and thus are very grateful for the instructions on how to use it (if a little perplexed by them). Within the drive itself they discover a third, even more confusing message:

          "It is essential that you aid the [NN].

They send a message back to Core and Earth indicating what they are doing by connecting the drive to their ship and activate it.
I find that if I don't have a signature, some people disregard the last couple of lines of a long post.
Quote from: Lizard
IQ's have really dropped around here just recently, must be something in the water.

iron maiden

So we only get one chance can we take it
And we only get one life can't exchange it
Can we hold on to what we have don't replace it
The age of innocence is fading..... Like an old dream

Mr X

#11
Quote from: Nielk1 on October 20, 2009, 10:57:06 PM
Would you mind if I rewrote that with some more grandiose language? Same stuff, just different letters.

I don't see the point in doing so, this is only really meant to be to tell people working on the project what they're doing. It isn't something that will actually appear in game to inform players. With that in mind keeping it simpler might be better for now.
(thats what I thought when I was writing it anyway, just give people a brief overview)

Quote from: sabrebattletank on October 20, 2009, 10:53:23 PM
Great! What is the player, a Hadean who rebels?

You play as a scion, with maybe a mission or two as the EDF.
Sign up for the BZ2 tournament:
http://www.bzuniverse.com/forum/index.php/topic,10101.0.html
starting January 2010!

Clavin12

C l a v i n 1 2

TheJamsh

Its brilliant. Very well planned. I like some of the established relationships here too.

Only one part im concerned about, and that is this 'sudden golden age of technology' that this third faction encountered. This idea is getting very cliche, so an extra bit of backstory may fit in here instead.

Overall though, im looking forward very much to contributing to this.


BZII Expansion Pack Development Leader. Coming Soon.

sabrebattletank

#14
Not sure if this is in order or not, but what if the playable parts of the story took the form of a Greek Tragedy? You know, the player is the tragic hero, catharsis, and other such-ish things.

If it's not in order at this time, the I withdraw this idea from consideration.


Withdrawn: not in order.