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LATE Storyline submission (vacation anyone?): "Full Circle"

Started by ScrapPool, July 28, 2009, 11:31:44 PM

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ScrapPool

So here's the deal. Yes, it is quite apparent now that the deadline has passed for 1.3CP story submissions. HOWEVER, I was under the impression that the 28th was in fact the LAST DAY to submit storyline ideas, not the day on which no further storyline submissions would be accepted. So in that, I say: No hard feelings if this thread is locked, deleted or closed, what have you. I just wanted to get it seen by somebody before voting continues further, because in my self-centered opinion, it is a halfway decent story. And yes, I should have submitted earlier, but I was on vacation with my family and as such did not have the time to post this from my laptop.
EDIT: Thanks for adding it!

I am stoked for the idea of a scion-centric campaign, and I enjoy time travel shenanigans, and as such, this story borrows both, except that it actually doesn't contain an unrealistic time machine, and actually, the time machine that it does contain is not used.

So on to the idea?
I encourage everybody to NOT be deterred by the length of this plot outline. I'd say just hunker down and have a good read. It' actually not that long.  :-)

Highlights
This story features:

-Two new(ish) races, Ancient Hadeans and Ancient Olympians (not counting a fleshed out scion race)
-Realistic, relativistic, time travel, (YAY Apparent FTL travel via Alcubierre drive!) not by the use of a time machine.
-A closed time-line loop, or causality loop in time. Not Unlike: Terminator, Harry Potter 3, The Time Machine, Several Twilight Zone episodes, and Futurama: Roswell that Ends Well
-A Human-Scion love story. (provided an "apt" voice actor can be persuaded to participate ;) <- creepy statement, i know.)
-An explanation of the origins of life on Earth
-A (possible) explanation of the origins of biometal.
-A non threatening story, by this i mean: this story doesn't threaten other BZII plots existence, presuming that all interstellar travel in them is accomplished by worm-holes.
-Missions from the Scion's perspective, but, in keeping true to BZII tradition, the choice is given to join either the Olympians or the Hadeans some missions into.
-Exploding moons and apocalyptic end-of-world scenarios. (not on earth!)
-Traditional personality clashes and character development between the player's character and the player's superior officer.
-A realistic, (yet biometal enhanced) one-way worm hole machine.
Got it covered.
"Full Circle"

ScrapPool

The Plot

Some years after the events of FE (its not really my business to decide how many years), The EDF has normalized relations with its competing races. What Cerberi remain are in disarray, and hold no real power. The Hadean Crown keeps to it worlds, and the Scions, although secretive and independent, are beginning to interact to a greater degree with humanity.

The Scions complete the greatest construction known to modern science, and to all known intelligence in the universe: the ARK III, the first intergalactic ship to contain a functional Alcubierre drive, a system which allows the propulsion of matter at apparently faster than light (FTL) speeds without requiring infinite energy (this is accomplished by contracting the space in front of the ship and expanding the space behind, not moving the ship chemically, but "pushing" it along with artificial gravity). The ARK III's first mission will be the most iconic in all of history: it will travel (literally) across the visible universe, through intergalactic space a mind-warping 13.7Bly (billion light years) into space (and through the implications of FTL travel, in time as well). The ships crew is entirely Scion, except for a single human ambassador (I wont decide a name, but in this plot summary he is referred to as "The Ambassador"), who will accompany the Scions on their journey. The Ambassador is the player's character.

The first actual mission would be on Mire, as the player (The Ambassador) is deployed by an EDF envoy to join the crew of the ARK III, primarily this would serve as a chance to introduce the characters to the player, and might be used to explore Scion culture (buildings, etc). Basically, an introductory mission.

The ARK departs Mire, and makes a pass by Earth as a PR stunt requisitioned by the EDF as a sign of the EDF's continuing bureaucratic usefulness to the people of Earth. The ARK begins drive warp, and its crew prepare for the 42 month journey to the other side of the universe....

A third the way through the trip (aprox 3.2Bly, ~14 months into the trip for crew members) the ARK unexpectedly drops out of warp and loses power. It is later revealed that the ARK had passed through a moon, and the immense energy required to pass the mass of the moon around the ship has drained the biometal reactors (at this point, imagine a moon similar to Earth's, with what seems to be a bullet hole in it, causing fractures across its surface. Note the scion-looking-ship on the other side of the moon). This moon belongs to a planet, one of two in a solar system in galaxy SDSSJ0737+3216, nearly a third the way across the universe. Besides this planet and its moon, there is only a gas giant looming in this solar system. The planet, it appears, was once so close to its sun that it became Tidally Locked, it has since moved away from its sun, into a habitable zone, but it remains tidally locked. By this it is meant that one side of the planet always faces its sun, and one side is always blanketed in darkness.

Very quickly, the ARK comes under attack by enemy fighters and an abandon ship is ordered. Landing craft are ordered to aim for an LZ in the temperate zone of the planet, a zone near the permanent twilight ring (a side effect of tidal locking) which circles a narrow band of this planet. A successful landing is made, and at this point, The Ambassador is called into action as too many Scions have died in the attack to provide a much needed fighting force.

This is supposedly where the second mission would begin. It would be The Ambassador's task to deploy one of a very limited number of recyclers and establish a base among hostile forces. There is no biometal indigenous to this world (at this point) and as such, falling pieces of the ARK III (falling as meteors) would form biometal pools. In this mission, the player finds that he encounters large numbers (large enough numbers that it would be a challenge) of enemy craft, small and large, but all are weak and easily destroyed, as they are not made of biometal. The player sees that he is fighting two distinct races, which are in fact at war with each other in addition to the player. For more, see Ancient Hadeans and Olympians as Races later on.

Soon, what remains of the ARK III falls to the surface not far from the Scion's base. It could be the third mission to secure this crash site, as it harbors a large amount of biometal. At this point, the player starts to encounter several varieties of enemy craft which are just as resilient as Scion craft, and, when destroyed, leave behind raw biometal. This mission would also see the very subtle beginnings of a more-than-military relationship between the Player (The Ambassador) and his commanding officer, an as of yet unnamed Scion lieutenant, who happens to be a female. (ah, the defaults of a male-centric society...).

Missions continue with the player fighting both his Cthonian adversaries, on the premise of whatever minor objectives might be thought of by the ever-creative BZ Community. This is the section of the story which might be drawn out to add additional missions to everyone's heart's content. During these missions, the fragmented moon, breaking apart, begins to loom slowly and surely closer and bigger in the sky as it is falling onto the planet. In addition, it might be nice to further flesh out the characters and the developing relationship with the Lieutenant during these intermediate missions, building a connection to them for the player. As these missions progress, it is seen that all of the weak non-biometal Olympian and Cthonian ships are quickly replaced by stronger, more powerful, biometal versions. Falling meteor/pieces of the ARK might be used as a source of scrap for play during these missions.

Something like halfway through the intermediate missions, it will be revealed that scientists of both the Ancient Hadeans and Ancient Olympians (both races harbor far superior minds to Humans or Scions) have reverse engineered the biometal that crashed to their HOMEWORLD (yes you have stumbled upon the CTHONIAN HOMEWORLD, what are the chances...) as the hull of the ARK III, and learned to produce new biometal from reactors which tap the energy of the planet's core. (When playing as Ancient Hadeans and Ancient Olympians, this would be your gameplay resource, you directly produce biometal. (-Similar to the function of The Swarm's resourcing in Fleshstorm, idea credit goes to Lizard-) This explains why at first the Cthonians ships were weak- as they learned to produce biometal, they adapted it to their craft and as such they grew in strength. This, in fact, could explain the origin of the Cthonian's use of biometal, it can also, by a weird switch of fate, therefore directly explain the very origin of biometal. I don't want to make that claim in this story, because that would be very selfish, but nonetheless, it could be implied as a possibility. In short: Cthonians reverse engineered it from Scions, who are a product of the Human's discovery of biometal left behind by the Cthonians- (it doesn't make sense now, but more on that later.)

Junction Mission
After some missions, it is discovered that the destroyed moon is falling to this planet, and that it will likely destroy all habitant life upon its impact, blowing away most of the planet's atmosphere and liquefying the planet's crust. During a "Junction Mission" not unlike mission 14 in the original BZII, the player is approached by peaceful representatives of both the Ancient Hadeans and Ancient Olympians with offers of peace in return for aid.

-- If the Player chooses to help the Ancient Hadeans, it is revealed that a Hadean scientist constructed and activated a time machine (REALISTIC! not unlike this one, this type of time machine could mathematically send matter back in time, but it would have to be extremely massive, requires incredible energy, and it can not send anything back to a time before the machine was activated. It cannot send matter into the future.) at the beginning of the Hadean-Olympian Civil War 126 Cthonian years ago, in hopes that, if the Hadeans were compromised and beaten militarily, he might go back and stop the war from beginning in the first place. With the addition of the miracles of biometal, the scientist has been able to modify it to create a one-way worm hole which would allow the escape of all Cthonian civilization from the inevitable impact of their moon on this planet, their homeworld. If the Hadean side is chosen, several missions would be spent aiding in the defense and construction of this worm hole generator as the destroyed moon looms ever closer, mission by mission, in the sky until by the final mission, it occupies nearly the entire sky. In the final mission, a large battle takes place, at the conclusion of which, the Hadean fleet and ground forces pass through the worm hole. In the haste to escape the falling moon (at this point imagine a giant fractured moon occupying most of the sky, meteors  (falling fragments of the moon) falling everywhere), the scientist asks the exact space coordinates of the ARK's last departure of the Scion captain (coordinates near earth), and he provides them. The scientist adds them to the worm-hole generator's computer, and opens the portal. It does not shut off once the entirety of the Hadean fleet and the Scions pass through, and as such, the Olympian fleet follows. The portal is destroyed as the moon crashes to the Cthonian homeworld.
-- If the Player Chooses to help the Ancient Olympians, it is learned that the enemy, the Ancient Hadeans, posses a means to escape the doomed planet, and plan to leave the Olympians behind. The player's missions become centered around destroying Hadean bases in an attempt to get to and posses the Worm Hole Device.
The last mission is a great battle, and at it's conclusion, the last of the Hadeans retreat through the device. Because it does not close, the Olympians and what remains of their allies (at this point, only The Lieutenant and The Ambassador[the player]; all others were killed) follow the Hadeans through.

Both fleets come out of the worm hole near Earth, but it is not Earth as we know it. It is the early Earth. It is Earth 3.2 Billion years in the past. It has rings, recently created by the impact of a large object on Earth's surface of boiling lava and sulfur. (these rings will coalesce to form our moon) This occurs because when the ARK III traveled halfway across the universe at FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF LIGHT, it also traveled back in time, in accordance with Einsteins theory of special relativity. 3.2 Billion years back in time to be exact. See space-time, and faster than light travel. Because the Hadean scientist's portal (using the magic of biometal) bent space to form a worm hole, no difference in time occurred, and as such they were teleported to the Earth 3.2 Billion years in the past.

Upon emergence from the one way portal, there is a brief space battle between the Ancient Hadeans and the Ancient Olympians, or rather, the last survivors of these two factions of a now nearly extinct species. The small Scion ship (which holds only the player (The Ambassador) and his love interest, the Lieutenant) is damaged in the battle and crashes to Earth. It is revealed (by some means) to the player that the Cthonians, shortly after the battle which damaged the player's ship, reached a peace agreement (it is assumed on the basis that it was mutually agreed that their species would not survive further conflict), and that they(the Cthonians) assume that the Ambassador and the Lieutenant died instantly when their ship crashed to this harsh, primeval, and lifeless world, Earth. The Cthonian's spot a fertile world, the fourth planet from the sun, Icarus, and settle there in peace. (The remains of Icarus can now be seen as our asteroid belt (yes, its somewhat ironic when contrasted with my previous statement about peace)). It is presumed that they remain at peace for some years, until such time as they have inhabited all the planets and moons in the solar system, even to some degree, Earth, in addition to many star systems beyond our own, before another Cthonian civil war, a war we are familiar with from the logs of BZ1, breaks out and results in the destruction of Icarus.

Back on Earth, the Scion ship holding the player and the Lieutenant in fact was not destroyed on impact, and instead survived enough to allow for its passengers to survive the landing. As the final scene, a human in love with a scion emerge from an alien craft as their oxygen levels run low, (no hope for contact as their radio was destroyed), and crawl to their final resting place, sitting, backs to a stone, with a view of the most beautiful of Earth's sunsets. The toxic chemicals, heat and sulfur warp the suns rays into brilliant colors. On their dying breaths, the first names of these characters are exchanged, Adam, The Human Ambassador[the player], and Eve, The Scion Lieutenant[the love interest]. It is implied that microbes from these two being's decaying bodies are the very first lifeforms on Earth, and go on to survive and evolve in the hostile earth's environment, eventually manufacturing oxygen in our atmosphere and giving rise to all life on earth in the next 3.2 Billion years, including humans.

NOTE: the passing of the ARK III through the Cthonian moon is the cause for the moon's falling to the Cthonian homeworld.
NOTE2: the bit about Adam and Eve is completely nonessential, I only thought that they might make fitting names for these two, the supposed beginnings of life on Earth. I thought it might make a nice touch is all. And no, I am not a Christian.

From the perspective of the EDF and the Scions in the years after the evens of FE, the ARK III disappears and is never heard from again.
Got it covered.
"Full Circle"

ScrapPool

Plot Summary

-Scions build the ARK III, the first craft truly capable of FTL(faster than light) travel.
-The player is the only human ambassador to the scions journey across the visible universe (not galaxy, UNIVERSE) a massive PR stunt for Earth.
-The ARK, in mid travel, passes through a moon, breaking it apart and causing it to crash into the tidally locked world it orbits, the Cthonian homeworld.
-The player lands on the planet, and must defend against two attacking races, the Ancient Hadeans and Ancient Olympians, which are also fighting each other.
-At first, the player fights many many weak Hadean and Olympian ships at a time, easily defeating single ships; they are weak because they are not made of biometal.
-Quickly, the Cthonians reverse engineer the biometal that fell to their planet as the remains of the ARK III, and start producing it for themselves, making their ships as powerful as the Scion's. This is a possible origin of biometal.
-Throughout missions, the player sees his Scion female lieutenant as a love interest.
-The player is approached by the Olympians and Hadeans independently and asked to join their side. (In a manner similar to mission 14 from BZII)
-If the player chooses the Hadeans, his goal becomes to defend and aid in the construction of a portal which will allow the races to escape the doom of their falling moon.
-If the player chooses the Olympians, his goal becomes to attack the portal device owned by the Hadeans so that it might be used to save the Olympians.

(Epilogue)
-The player comes through the portal near Earth (the point of the ARK III's original departure) 3.2 Billion years in the past, and his ship is damaged by the last battle between the Cthonian fleets which have come out of the portal as well before a peace treaty is signed by what remains of the two races in an effort to save their species.
-The damaged Scion ship crashes on the earth as is was 3.2 Billion years ago (Faster Than Light travel caused the ARK III to go back in time as well as space, but the Hadean's worm hole simply bent space, it does not deal with time), and the microbes on the player's dying body become the first life on Earth.
-The Cthonians go on to inhabit Icarus and the rest of the solar system and many other star systems while at peace, before another civil war breaks out between the two races which results in the findings of BZ1.

Ancient Hadeans and Ancient Olympians as Races
NOTE: this section is really only how I imagine the Ancients, it has NO BEARING on what the community would produce as far as these to races would be.

My vision of these races' themes would largely follow Avatar's, that is, Ancient Hadean ships are tan-ish, colored like many artifacts in BZ1. Hadean ships are asymmetrical and lustrous, yet centered around even numbers, and have thematically/primarily blue and green homing missile like projectiles. Olympian ships are black, red, and orange. They are symmetrical and rugged, but centered around odd numbers, and have thematically/primarily red and orange laser and blast like weapons.

The reason for the two factions would be explained in this story. The Cthonian Homeworld is tidally locked as was explained earlier. This means that only one side of the planet faces the sun at all times. The idea is that the Hadeans are the result of the development of a relatively unified culture on the sunny side of the planet, and the Olympians are the result of the development of a unified culture on the dark side of the planet, (which is separate from the hadean's sunny side culture). The differences in these two cultures resulted in an inevitable civil war, which our Scions happen to walk in on in this story.

These differences in culture might be reflected by the way each side behaves and talks with the player. The hadeans would be positive and optimistic, more prone to be peaceful (the traditional good guys), and the Olympians would be negative and pessimistic, and more prone to war (the traditional bad guys).

A friend of mine was inspired by this story such that he drew a scene. To be mean, he's not an expert illustrator. But to be fair, it is interesting to a degree.
http://img39.imageshack.us/img39/5497/8209059.jpg

Essential Characters

-Human-
The Ambassador (as of yet without a last name, first name Adam)[the player]

-Scion-
The Lieutenant (as of yet without a last name, first name Eve)[the player's love interest]
The Commander (no name yet, clashes with the actions of the player, Foil to the Lieutenant.)
The Captain/General (no name yet, traditional General stereotype, look at captain keyes from halo)

-Ancient Hadeans-
Apollo (approaches the ambassador and asks him to join the Hadeans)[name=placeholder]
Hadean Scientist (no name yet, creator of the worm hole device)

-Ancient Olympians-
Prote (approaches the ambassador and asks him to join the Olympians)[name=placeholder]
Olympian Commander (no name yet, harsh and demanding, but secretly frightened)

------------------

Congratulations, you've reached the end of my storyline submission! If you have made it through and actually read this entire post, I have to thank you! I appreciate that you would take the time to read something as long as this. If you haven't read this entire post, I would hope that you would take the time to read "Full Circle".

As always, the pointing out of flaws, contradictions, and ESPECIALLY CRITIQUES, are very welcome!

No, I wouldn't plan on doing my own mod with this story, i dont have that kind of time.
Yes, feel free to take this idea and run with it on your own if you wish! I'm just trying to put some ideas and imagination I had in my head, into yours!

Thanks a million,
SP

P.S. Please forgive all my run on sentences and my lack of capitalization of "Earth" and other grammatical errors, including but not limited to sentences witch make no sense. This post was written in a hurried, train of thought way. If it goes anywhere, I may be back to make fixes. And pretty please excuse multiple posts, my original was greater than 20000 characters, the limit.

All posts edited for grammar and clarity. In addition, a major plot flaw has been rectified and time scales have been adjusted such that they fit currently accepted planetary formation theories.

Several points have been raised:

How can a ship survive crashing through a moon?
Possible solutions suggested by replies:
1) That the effect of the warp-drive caused the mass of the moon to pass around the ship, such that it was in fact not touched at all while still ripping a hole in the moon. Or something to that effect. (This event would drain the power cells of the ARK, causing it to drop out of warp). In this case, the damage to the ARK which caused it to crash to the planet would be inflicted by Cthonian high-powered non-biometal weapons. (Antimatter bombs or the like).
2) (Slightly less believable IMO) That the ship sustained damage enough to disable it in physically colliding though the moon (remember it is made of biometal). In this case, it is not required by the plot that the Cthonians attack it at all in order for it to crash to the planet.

Why would the Scions, after building such an advanced ship, risk its destruction by only surveying their projected path in space from a relatively local set of data?
Possible proposed solution:
It requires incredible energy to achieve warp merely one time. In this case, it would be infeasible to routinely drop out of warp to re-plan a path in space.

This storyline is completely open to improvements, especially in believability! If you've got an idea, post it!

Got it covered.
"Full Circle"

bigbadbogie

The Cthonian's original homeworld where they evolved was Icarus.

As if the Hadeans and Olympians could live peacefully for 3 billion years on one planet!!! Not a hope in hell.

The Adam and Eve bit was really, really, really retarded.  :lol:


Why does it always have to be the Hadeans and Olympians? I am getting sick to death of them!!!
Others would merely say it was good humour.


My BZ2 mods:

QF2: Essence to a Thief - Development is underway.

Fleshstorm 2: The Harvest - Released on the 6th of November 2009. Got to www.bz2md.com for details.

QF Mod - My first mod, finished over a year ago. It can be found on BZ2MD.com

VSMIT

I'll add this to the poll (I think I can), but don't expect to get much of a turnout.
I find that if I don't have a signature, some people disregard the last couple of lines of a long post.
Quote from: Lizard
IQ's have really dropped around here just recently, must be something in the water.

ScrapPool

Quote from: bigbadbogie on July 29, 2009, 12:03:45 AM
The Cthonian's original homeworld where they evolved was Icarus.

As if the Hadeans and Olympians could live peacefully for 3 billion years on one planet!!! Not a hope in hell.

The Adam and Eve bit was really, really, really retarded.  :lol:


Why does it always have to be the Hadeans and Olympians? I am getting sick to death of them!!!
You know I originally hated FE because it brought Hadeans descendants into the game, and that kind of ruined the idea of Icarus as the Cthonian homeworld for me. What are the chances that Cthonians evolved on Icarus, then killed themselves with biometal, but also escaped to other worlds to have descendants too? Not too good imo. Now that I have grown on FE, (and Fleshstorm too!) I've always had this idea in my head that Icarus wasn't the Cthonian homeworld. It just makes more sense. But that's just me.

3 billion years is way too long. Good thing its just an idea. It has since been edited to change stupid time remarks.

You know there never has actually been a mod or game (to my knowledge) in which the original hadeans and olympians were playable... if we had some creative people on them it could be very interesting.

Got it covered.
"Full Circle"

bigbadbogie

Quote from: ScrapPool on July 29, 2009, 01:03:40 AM
You know there never has actually been a mod or game (to my knowledge) in which the original hadeans and olympians were playable... if we had some creative people on them it could be very interesting.

The Ancients campaign in Battlezone Classic does exactly that.

Quote from: ScrapPool on July 29, 2009, 01:03:40 AM
What are the chances that Cthonians evolved on Icarus, then killed themselves with biometal, but also escaped to other worlds to have descendants too?

Much higher than the chances of them inventing a time machine.
Others would merely say it was good humour.


My BZ2 mods:

QF2: Essence to a Thief - Development is underway.

Fleshstorm 2: The Harvest - Released on the 6th of November 2009. Got to www.bz2md.com for details.

QF Mod - My first mod, finished over a year ago. It can be found on BZ2MD.com

AHadley

It works, and parts of it are very clever (I rather like the Adam and Eve part, though quite how we got to know about it (the Book of Genesis) I'm not quite sure).

I'd go as far as to say this may be one of the better storylines.

I like the name too.

EDIT: +Applaud

Angstromicus



Sure it may need a little work to better fit in with the BZ story line or the Universe's story line (I thought Earth was only about 4.5 billion years old and am unsure as to how it could be two billion years older). But, a story like this going through the CP's meat grinder (i.e.. myriad of changes and suggestions from a large number of users) would make a delicious meatloaf of a plot (assuming no fingers, toes, hair, or other strange objects don't get accidentally included  :-o.

Warfreak

lmao @ The Seal Of Awesomeness.

Hmmm, Seems people like the idea of Time Travel... ONLY problem I have with this one is that it pretty much has meat on it.
When I voted, I voted for a story that was just framework and could easily fit in other ideas without breaking what is already infront of us.

Basically, you DESERVE The Seal Of Awesomeness, but because this idea CAN survive as it's own mod IF it is not chosen. Great work and let's see how it holds up against the others.

ScrapPool

Quote from: bigbadbogie on July 29, 2009, 01:20:51 AM
The Ancients campaign in Battlezone Classic does exactly that.

Much higher than the chances of them inventing a time machine.
Haha, BZC hasn't come out yet, and to my knowledge, avy hasn't even earnestly started on the ancients campaign. So no, there isn't a released mod which exists that meets that context. But then again thats why I am dying for BZC to come out... point is, it hasn't happened yet.

And acutally no, time tavel is allowed by modern physics, so it is (right now) entirely possible that an alien race might invent a time machine. The catch is that you can't go back in time farther than the time at which the machine was turned on.  :lol: BUT THAT's COMPLETELY BESIDE THE POINT, because if you had actually read the plot, you would know that there is IN FACT NOT A TIME MACHINE in this story. Instead, the effects of special relativity on the ARK III as it was traveling FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF LIGHT caused it to go "back in time" from the perspective of earth. You realize that when you look at stars in the sky, you are seeing light which is millions of years old... it takes millions of years for the light from those stars to reach our eyes..., therefore, if you travel significantly faster than light, you are in fact going BACK IN TIME. read the link i posted on faster than light travel yea? The device invented by the hadeans was in fact just a wormhole device similar to the scion's, it has NOTHING to do with time.
I mean im just sayin.  :-)

Yikes i feel like we need some more hardcore science fiction fans around here.  :lol:


And yes it is very meaty hehe. But i like to think of it as meat which holds the bones together lol. AND besides, im just throwin this out there, its not like everything (really anything) ABSOLUTELY MUST hold true to this paltry few paragraphs (which may or may not be WAY to descriptive :roll:) i've written in this forum.
Got it covered.
"Full Circle"

AHadley

I still think it's very good. Probably deserves to win more than the others, it would make a great project.

I'd be willing to voice adam, lol :-D

bb1

If we were releasing this on CD that whole emerging from the wormhole bit would make a hell of a FMV, unfortunately we aren't and nobody like 300mb downloads (unless I am just slow and old and don't have fast internet or know of the latest compression schemes).

Definitely a powerful story-driven part, and I will vote for it on one condition:

Explain how the pre-biometal aerospace fighters destroyed mankind's greatest and largest creation after it just took on the freaking moon... You'd think non-biometal weapons would "plink" off of its hull, even though it is fractured slightly. I can't cite a reference but I remember seeing that non-biometal weapons do terribly little to no damage to biometal EDD.

AHadley

The passage through the moon may have damaged by it, or it may have been hit by debris. Maybe its travel damaged it in some way.

Why I am saying this when I have my own storyline to support I don't know. :P

Angstromicus

I agree. A biometal space ship plowing a hole through the moon and destabilizing its orbit - all without receiving any significant damage. I don't see even anti-matter warheads denting that armor. Was the reactor vulnerable to attack or something? Of course it's possible that the ship never actually touched the moon and thus wouldn't need ultimate biometal armor to plow through the moon. Perhaps the gravitational field in front of the ship behaved like a black hole and ate through the moon. Though in that case, the ship should have had an easier time traveling as the mass of the moon would be gravitational energy for the black hole... A black hole is the only gravitatoinal phenomenon that seems strong enough to plow through a moon at speeds exceeding light.