Creating a plot for the 1.3 Community Project: ENDED

[Rocket]

this is a draft of the full storyline, written by me. It is written from the viewpoint of the main character.



you start off as a scion killing cerberi in our solar system.

you find a relic, and it is taken back to another planet (planet in our solar system or one in the mire system probably)

they do small imitation tests of it, and determine that it is a new type of "Space" travel, not realizing there is also a time element.

they set the portal up in full scale, only to find the cerberi are inbound to the base, the scions send for immidiate reinforcements, but the reinforcements are still far away, the cerberi arrive, and the scions and the cerberi fight. the cerberi break through, and take control of the base for a couple of minutes, and then the reinforcements arrive. (incidently all of these forces are in massive scale) the cerberi realize that they are doomed if they stay where they are, so they all race through the portal. you are ordered to go through the portal in persuit in order to kill the cerberi before they get set up too well in the location they portaled to.

the scion (leader?.. general?..) orders you to follow through the portal with a force with enough firepower to destroy two cerberi bases, also with a device that will allow you to return. while the general speaks to you, about 30 dropships land around the base area, open their doors, and you and the rest of the forces go inside the dropships, and... (///movie///) the dropships take off, and fly through the portal (the portal is enormous by the way) (you could have the general saying, "i want every one of those cerberi devils destroyed, and don't you come back until they are!") and the camera follows the dropships as they fly through the portal, with dramatic music... and the camera goes through a flash of light and a few seconds pass, and you then see an arrangement of stars and planets........... a few seconds pass as the sound fades back in..... you then hear yelling over the intercom as dropships explode left, right, and center, as cerberi craft shoot projectiles flying everywhere, you then realize that a race on the planet below has fired ground to space missiles to destroy the cerberi, and you!

someone yells, "they got the dropship with the return device!" as the camera looks at the exploding dropship across the way... the space battle lasts about a minute...the battle cools off with all cerberi's ships being destroyed by the missiles fired from the planet below which are cthonian missiles, and your damaged dropship escapes with about 7 other damaged dropships and they manage to land on the planet below, which happens to be the one that has the moon coming towards it to destroy it.... (MOVIE END)

you establish a base and find that the enemy's craft are not made of biometal at all, instead they seem to be made of metal and wood with gaspowered engines and gunpowdered weapons. (thus none of their craft are hover, all are tracked) they are quite easily destroyable, atleast they would be, if your ships weren't damaged so much by the fight of the cerberi that occured in outer space, and the crash landing on the planet....

relatively soon, the third cthonian faction reveals themselves to you. And you find that their ships are hovering, which is one of the first things one of the scion pilots exclaims... and the suprising thing is, that they speak english!... they tell you that they have been monitoring your communications and have made a translator so they can communicate with you..... their ships tech are about the tech of the ISDF during the times of the AAN and braddock's regime. but some of their ships are rather primitive. you and them unite to form an alliance against the other cthonians (Hadeans and Olympians) of the planet. they then lead you to their base, and you notice that as you get closer and closer to their main base, their tech gets more complex the closer to the base you are. until you arrive at a towering base of awesome towers and walls. you are taken into their base with the rest of the remaining scion forces (insidently, i'd like to make for a character change, i think it would be better for the main character to be an officer in the scion army, i think a kernel would do good, or the scion equivelent. thus you are one of the commanders of these remaining forces.)(i say one of these, because obviously, there is going to be more than one kernel in such a large force)

they show you that they have been working on a portal in order to escape the falling moon which was triggered by computer, and they can't stop it... when they show you the portal, a scion pilot whispers to you, "that one looks just like the one we had on Core..." they tell you that the portal will be finished in a couple of weeks, and they need you and the rest of your forces to stay here and defend from any incoming hadean or olympian forces. you then say, "what!.... hadean??? olympian?? i thought they were all dead!" a few seconds pass.... scion pilot says, "well.. i guess we were wrong.."

debriefing: the debriefing for this one will be something like: scientists have found that the phosphorii's ships are made of biometal, and we have also found that their biometal is very similar to ours. after all the kernels (including you) have taken a vote that we will take turns patrolling outside the fort, with orders to kill anything unfriendly that is within firing range. meanwhile our scientists and the phosphorii's scientists are working stuff out and helping eachother on the portal, we have determined not to tell the phosphorii that the portal they are constructing is similar to the one we had, since they say they are creating it the first time and we don't want to slow work down with arguing, they also said that they invented biometal, apparently they are telling the truth, and we are both confused by this phenomenon.

next mission, you find yourself patrolling around the base with a few other scion units destroying enemy craft, as the enemy invents new and even peculiar units to try to destroy you and the other patrolling units, but after awhile the cthonian enemy craft get harder to kill after they find a way to plate their vehicles with biometal they found lying around...

pretty soon the hadeans and olympians have a temporary cease fire, and concentrate their inventions and ideas, and then you find yourself fighting against big blocky pieces of machinery with primitive cannons, similar to the ones in the days of pirates (LOL). soon, small hovercraft are emerging, and are quite easily destroyable.

next mission, you are back out there in the field, the scientists' work is coming along very well, and they say it will probably be done later in the "week"...

the enemy craft is now much tougher then it was before, and have the equivelent of light tanks, the enemy craft is coming faster now, and they still have wooden, metal, biometal plated vehicles, and have developed primitive armor. their bullets don't shoot very far, and fall to the ground within about 60 metres, but every day, their craft improves..............

a couple days later, the scientists announce that the portal shall probably be done later today, and they will power it up and do tests later that day.

you then fight large hovercraft, with heavier armor, and they are about as tough as a scavenger.

(during this period, scientists manage to give you new craft and weapons, to better destroy the hadeans and olympians that have temporarilly united against us)

later that day, the enemy units become tracked, and aquire amazing firepower, which are very hard to destroy.

later, you are ordered to investigate a "gathering" of units in an area relatively close to the fort, you go there with a fleet of units.... you find an enormous vehicle the size of 15 recyclers! with the most awesome and deadly cannon mounted turret cannon on it!

you open fire upon this beast, and soon the enemy units around it start attacking you, after little bit, you are told that the gigantic vehicle is still being built, and we have a chance to stop its construction! but just as you destroy the thing building it, they announce, "we're too late! they have finished building it! get back to the fort before it's too late!" you race back to the fort with it firing deadly lasers and missiles at your fleet, you and a few others just make it back to the fort, the deadly beast is now firing upon all forces that come out of the fort, and the beast has the most amazing armor ever seen! apparently it is so large that it is self healing, and more hadean and olympian forces have come to join this beast in its fight against us.

the scientists announce that the portal is finished. but the amount of firepower that the beast outside the fort is billowing out, will soon destroy every ship we have. we are going to charge the teleportal, and do some tests and then we will escape, we hope that the portal works, if it doesn't, we will all die.

next mission you find youself leading another squad of units out of the base, only to be destroyed by the beast a few minutes afterwards...... after awhile they announce that they don't have many units left, and they are running out of scrap. but there is also good news too, the portal is fully charged, and they will be doing tests immiadiately. a few seconds pass and (MOVIE) the beast, shoots a devastating shot at the wall, which it has been shooting at for some time, and a large section of the wall falls, enough so they could get inside the fort! a phosphorii commander announces, "apparently, we have failed, they have broken through, we must get to the portal before they do!" (MOVIE END) you then race towards the portal as one of your guys says, "wait a minute, we haven't tested it yet!" the phosphorii commander says, "we don't have much choice.. unless we go through there right now, we are doomed!" one of your kernels says, "ok, everybody in, except me, (your name), and the displacer (the displacer is a ship that pushes/pulls things in order to move them), i've got an idea..  we're going to try to slow this beast down, he's coming too fast!" you follow them until they reach a safe distance from the beast, and it is coming towards you, the kernel says, "ok displacer, push the beast away!"

the displacer shoots out a beam of energy at the beast, the beam slows the beast down, but he is still coming! after a few seconds the kernel says, "ok, it looks like it isn't enough to stop him.... lets try plan B.." you say, "what's plan B?" he says, "follow me.."  (the displacer follows aswell) )you follow him retreating back to the base and there is a pass (a tall hill with a cliff) in the fort (the fort is pretty big by the way...) you follow him up the hill, until it reaches a cliff where the beast is coming towards, on your right there is the portal with dropships (phosphorii and scion) going through it. and on the left, the beast is coming slowly towards the portal area, and you say, "what now?" the kernel says, "you see this boulder?  (he turns towards the boulder sitting on the edge of the cliff..) we're going to crush him..  let's hope this works.....(waits until beast is under the cliff) ok displacer, crush him!" the displacer fires a beam on the rock, and a few seconds pass... the rock tumbles onto the beast, completely crushing the turret on top, also leaving the beast stuck there.

you hear quite a bit of whooping and cheering over the intercom..(about ten seconds later) then the kernel says, "wait a minute... what's that on my radar!" (you get a target painted on your screen) you turn to the left, and two more beasts come rumbling over the previously fallen part of the wall with a new assortment of small and large hovercrafts racing through aswell. the kernel says, "ok, everyone to the portal NOW!" all units are now racing towards the dropships.... (///MOVIE///) you and many other craft are racing through the base to get to the dropships, and you stop and turn, the beasts are almost to the portal, the phosphorii commander says, "there isn't enough time for all of us to go through..we will have to make time.... all phosphorii units, attack!" the scion kernel says, "hurry up (kernel), we haven't got much time!, get in the dropship!" the camera watches you go into the dropship, and then with an angle, allows such that the camera sees the beasts mercelessly destroying the brave phosphorii, and now, grizzly narration something like, "these brave warriors have given their lives for us, and i just hope, that some day, we could repay them..."  your dropship is the last to go through, and (MOVIE END)

the phosphorii died, but successfully built a portal that the scions, hadeans, and olympians escaped through (they escaped to our solar system), but the scions died in a space battle against the hadeans and olympians after exiting the portal, and their bodies landed on earth... the hadeans and olympians found the fifth planet from the sun, which they named Icarus, was perfect for cthonian life, and remained there, until the furies....

this storyline has a mission span of about 15 missions.

i hope you liked it. tell me what you think.


-Rocket3497-

[iron maiden]

Rocket, the story seems to fit together well enough except you put much emphasis on intricate details, not that that's a bad thing. perhaps if the two of us were combine our story's, your great use of dialogue and secondary detail, and my main body of the plotline, perhaps we could a way to make them work together.

[Nielk1]

I hate "that's what they told you but" things. The Cerberi are related to the Cerberus AI. That is not only what they told us, but is critical to their existence and very actions in FE.

[iron maiden]

and i repeat nielk1, the cerberi jump through space and time to after the cerberus computer is ejected from core, rescuing and continuing on with the events of FE.

[Warfreak]

About the Cthonian thing. There is NO way they could be from outside out solar system. The Hadean and Olympian technologies to even EXPLORE space were only made possible after a close call with a biometalloid from which they discovered biometal.

If they had the technology to travel vast distances in space with relative ease in the FIRST PLACE we would probably find indication of such. We dont, we find the remains of biometal war machines all over the solar system and an asteroid field where their planet once was located.

The obvious and possible ONLY conclusion is that they were the "first" intelligent life of the solar system to encounter biometal and that a great war with their own creations wiped them out... apparently leaving very few survivors to attempt to rebuild on another planet.

[iron maiden]

Since this topic seems to be going nowhere quickly, i have an idea.

everyone personal message your plotlines to me and i will open up a topic poll so that the community can vote on which one they like the best.

deadline is 5 days from today.

good luck, and may the best plotline win!

[Rocket]

i don't think 5 days is long enough...

If they had the technology to travel vast distances in space with relative ease in the FIRST PLACE we would probably find indication of such.

they didn't!

the third cthonian faction made the travel portal.... NOT the hadeans and olympians... hence why the hadeans and olympians were not able to replicate it, because the phosphorii died and the planet exploded.....

There is NO way they could be from outside out solar system. The Hadean and Olympian technologies to even EXPLORE space were only made possible after a close call with a biometalloid from which they discovered biometal.

or maybe they just "Rediscovered" it.....

[iron maiden]

Rocket, are you saying that about getting the story to me or voting, 5 days is the amount of time you have to p-message me your plotlines, i will keep the poll open for two weeks at the maximum.

[VSMIT]

I am making an executive decision.

Story development by the community at large is being halted.  Absolutely nothing is happening.  I have appointed a few people to write a storyline for the CP.  If I did not contact you directly, you are not one of those people.  Do not ask to be included, because you will not be.

Once the story is near completion, it will be posted, and the community will be able to make minor suggestions.  Attempting to change the main point or the central theme of the plot will not be tolerated.

Yes, I have consulted with others on this matter.  They did not have any objections to what I am doing.

This topic is finished.  If you'd like to comment on this post, feel free.  If you'd like to comment on what happened earlier in this thread, don't.

[iron maiden]

so i'd take it my collective poll of plotlines won't be coming out.

[VSMIT]

You'd take it correctly.

[Rocket]

oh boy, maybe i'll be able to make a

minor suggestion

!!

not too sure what you expected to happen though... not sure what you mean that nothing was happening either....

[VSMIT]

Things were getting stagnant.  There was no real movement in the story ideas.  Many of the "writers" had moved off of writing the story and moved on to arguing about what the new race is going to be called.  That is not conducive to the way things need to work.

[iron maiden]

Things were getting stagnant.  There was no real movement in the story ideas.  Many of the "writers" had moved off of writing the story and moved on to arguing about what the new race is going to be called.  That is not conducive to the way things need to work.

I must say i am taking a stiff stance against that statement. As i told you in a personal message, our problem was that we could not agree on the minor details of a story. That is why i wished to make the poll, so that we could bring the arguing to an end. Each one of us had a unique plotline which is also why we were stuck, we each wanted our idea to be the one. Through a community poll, we could get the views of those not involved in the writing.

Oh, and by the way, i left trying to figure out a name so that i could help more with this.

[Mr X]

I must say i am taking a stiff stance against that statement. As i told you in a personal message, our problem was that we could not agree on the minor details of a story. That is why i wished to make the poll, so that we could bring the arguing to an end. Each one of us had a unique plotline which is also why we were stuck, we each wanted our idea to be the one. Through a community poll, we could get the views of those not involved in the writing.

Thats how we got here in the first place isn't it? Everyone submitted ideas and we voted and after voting had ended more people came and made their suggestions, and we ended up at this stage of non-agreement because we didn't know what to about the new suggestions that hadn't been subject to any kind of vote to see their popularity,

You won't solve the problem by repeating the cause, the problem will just happen all over again.

Ever heard the saying "too many cooks spoil the broth"?