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Thats fine I guess Feared.

The one thing I don't want to change about this race, is the way their technology looks. The whole industrial boxy look with layers of plates, oversized canons, bolts and rivets sticking out is more threatening. Theres more of a "I'll kick your a$$" quality about it.

One suggestion, I'm rather tired of... please don't take this the wrong way... is making this race more 3 dimentional. Making them simple and more 1 dimentional was the entire point. The best enemy has always been an enemy you can kill with no remourse. I don't want to get all touchy feely about an enemy and try to "understand them". I want to blow their head off. Forget the world, blast away my aggression, and relax. I don't want to get wrapped up into trying to help an enemy or read some huge bio about them. I play video games with bad guys because I want to blow them up into tiny peices... like the lint you find at the bottom of your wallet.

Bloodthirsty, murderous, violent aliens who live to cause pain and suffering, and its my job to blow away every single one of them... Thats my kind of enemy! Who's with me on that?

Sop using this thread as a damn chat thread. Do you all have that little respect for me? This is the second topic I've started in the last couple weeks I've had to say this in.  Either contribute to the actual topic or stay on subject, or go stick your keyboard... well you get the point. I shouldn't have to spell it out for you.

Username: General Hoohah
MSN email: leathal87@hotmail.com
BZU Jabber: I have no idea what this is... Oo
Current skills: ISDF Modeling, Prop Modeling, Weapon Modeling, Vegitation Modeling, Vehicle Testing and Tweaking, Mapping, ODF Editing, Texture Design, Stock Photography, Creative Writing
Skill I'd like to learn: Skinning

I've been playing around with the idea of a new race, and brainstorming with a few members in the community. Tell me what you guys think:

This race is blood thirsty. They're a race of war criminals love to murder, torture, and kill any form of intelligent life they can find. The ships and tanks they use are industrial sort of boxy looking death machines, with oversize guns and cannons and laters of plates with rivets and bolts showing. They decortate their ships with chains, blood, and sometimes skulls. Its not their biometal technology however, they stole it from the race who controls them.

After some brainstorming between me, AHadley, and Angstromicus, we put this together as a rough beginning to the outline of this race:

Hzarzk
- Incredibly violent race of humanoid mutants, created by another race as a result of highly immoral genetic experiments on babies.
- Goal of the experiments was to combine the DNA splicing of vicious wildlife with an accelerated immune system and immunizations, to create the perfect biological warfare resistant super solider.
- Experiments declared a success, and armies of super soldiers are created.
- Their attempts to prevent the DNA spreading down bloodlines fails.
- The mentality of the many offspring of the super soldiers slowly degenerate into intelligent versions of the animals they spliced, developing incredibly violent tendencies, an unquenchable blood lust, and eventually begin to mutate into stronger faster creatures with the ability to detect pheromones from hundreds of meters away.
- These creatures are named the Hzarzk
- They eventually multiply in vast numbers, overwhelming the race who created them and violently wipe them out.
- The Hzarzk steal the biometal technology used by their creators to travel to other worlds so they can kill more.

Their discription is this. About 10 feet tall, slightly hunched over with slightly long arms and claws, small cold black eyes, a large boney jaw, and sharp teeth. As pilots, they'd carry large heavy weapons like oversized plasma rifles and rocket launchers, or maybe just attack you with their claws like jack-killers.

There's nothing very deep about this race, and thats what makes them a great enemy.  The best kind of enemy is one you can HATE and kill without remorse, without any reason to try and understand them or feel sorry for them. A race of bloodthirsty creatures bent on the distruction of every form of intelligent life, who will slowly rip you limb from limb and listen to your screams if they ever get the chance.

They don't have to be named the Hzarzk, as long as thier name sounds alien to the english language, and doesn't sound like someone belching or a bodily noise. 

So tell me what you guys think.

They're already searching for something that will grant them the greatest power that suits their needs. Advanced gate theck that will give them instant access to places they've never been before, teaming with all the life they could ever kill. Thats what this entire story revolves around. And hold your ideas until I finish the plot outline. Angstromicus and AHadly have helped me enough to work out some of the details and iron out a few problems, but I'm still not done.

I've decided to go with Athenians for the nearly wiped out race of ancients. Athena was the god of wisdom, peace, strategy, reason, etc.

I'm going to start working on a plot outline.

The Hzarzk have not been around long enough to have been pheros, and they're insane. They only kill. If they had found earth that long ago anyway, we'd all be dead. So no, that won't work. Also the race who created them were a scientific race, they wouldn't have any intrest in ruling another race earlier in deveolpment who believed easily in gods.

I'm keeping the greek thing. How about the nearly killed off race could be related to the Cthonians, or the race that the Cthonians came from. Perhapse they were a wiser race who sought to attemped to spread their wisdom to less developed worlds. One of them happened to be earth. They taught the greeks of diplomacy and government Their influence on earth could be tied to the greek language. So they aren't italians, they just influenced their culture.

Perhapse they had confrontations with the Cthonians when they found out they were experimenting on the dead bodies of fallen Greek warriors. You know, leave these people alone or we'll kick your a$$. And they protected the earth against their nut job experiements, the furies.

I like where this is going... it feels a lot more BZ than previous ideas. Hell, lets make them close. They could be one of the next few solar systems over. The could be our neighbors.

And thats scary how me and that guy thought of such similar things without reading eachothers stuff. I've been sitting on this story for over a year. lol This is actually kinda creepy. >.>

Hmmm... well the prometheans wasn't even my idea. Someone else suggested I use them so I just went ahead and did it, cause they sounded like a good candidate.

So my responce to this is, it doesn't have to be the prometheans. All we have to do is create a new race. No big whoop. Any suggestions? So everything but the name stays, including keepint their sacred homeworld, their civilian world, and their military strong hold, and everything else I've said. The ISDF forces could find greek-like language written on ruins at this sacred homeworld, which could start another mystery. Did these people ever have contact with our ancient ancestors? What impact could that have made on human society?

There's still a lot of details that I mentioned a few posts ago, that need the blanks filled in. Now there's another blank. Who is this race? What's their name? What's their history? This gives us a chance to be more creative anyway.

I love everything you've said up to the probe thing and the mechanica stuff. Everything before that, and one small other thing, I love and want to use.

But, the reason this race spread was because they're in search of gate technology developed by the Prometheans. With it, they can instantly spread from one side of the universe to the other and destroy as many life forms as they wish. This is why the ISDF tricks them by editing a log that says that the first gate connects to a military strong hold. They change it to civilian space colony. LOL So they let the Hzarzk win a battle and get all the gate peices, then the ISDF high tail it out of there. They build the gates, turn them on, and the alien alience ships come rushing out and blow up all the Hzarzk ships (plenty where that came from, on both sides).

Also, the ancient race they came from already had biometal technology. Even though it was VERY advanced, it didn't look sleak or modern like the Scions or the ISDF. I wanted to be a little more original. These machines look like industrial death tanks, made to run people over with layers of metal, exposed rivets, and oversized canons, decorated with chains and skulls. They look like lumbering hulks made from scrap piles, but they're more than a challenge. However, they COULD become more advanced after stealing some tech from the promethians.

But there is a fact you're fogetting. The Prometheans in my story have three planets. Their home world which is a sacred place devoted to the history of their race and technology (with a research base containing a peice of the gate hidden in a swamp). Then there's a newer larger planet where their civilians thrive in a modern industrious culture, and their military strong hold which is a planet made entirely from biometal. I was thinking that one could have a techie name like CX-9.

The reason the Hzarzk came to that world wren was to search for the gate peice was mistakenly hurled towards earth after a flag ship they destroyed near that ship self destructed to keep them from getting the gate technology. The ISDF finds the piece in part of the flag ship near our galaxies outer most asteroid field, calculates its point of origin, and tries to find clues as to what happened, what that peice is for, and where to find more like it. They end up on wren, and I guess this is where they could first encounter the Hzarzk.

The swarm have nothing to do with this, or anything having to do with pods. Its just the Hzarzk spreading around the universe causing chaos until evidence from one of their battles ends up flying towards earth. Thats when we get involved and become part of this war between the Hzarzk and an allied force of different alien species.I love everything you've said up to the probe thing and the mechanica stuff. Everything before that I love and want to use. The reason this race spread was because they're in search of gate technology developed by the Prometheans. With it, they can instantly spread from one side of the universe to the other and destroy as many life forms as they wish. This is why the ISDF tricks them by editing a log that says that the first gate connects to a military strong hold. They change it to civilian space colony. LOL So they let the Hzarzk win a battle and get all the gate peices, then the ISDF high tail it out of there. They build the gates, turn them on, and the alien alience ships come rushing out and blow up all the Hzarzk ships (plenty where that came from, on both sides).

Also, the ancient race they came from already had biometal technology. Even though it was VERY advanced, it didn't look sleak or modern like the Scions or the ISDF. I wanted to be a little more original. These machines look like industrial death tanks, made to run people over with layers of metal, exposed rivets, and oversized canons, decorated with chains and skulls. They look like lumbering hulks made from scrap piles, but they're more than a challenge. However, they COULD become more advanced after stealing some tech from the promethians.

But there is a fact you're fogetting. The Prometheans in my story have three planets. Their home world which is a sacred place devoted to the history of their race and technology (with a research base containing a peice of the gate hidden in a swamp). Then there's a newer larger planet where their civilians thrive in a modern industrious culture, and their military strong hold which is a planet made entirely from biometal. I was thinking that one could have a techie name like CX-9.

The reason the Hzarzk came to that world wren was to search for the gate peice was mistakenly hurled towards earth after a flag ship they destroyed near that ship self destructed to keep them from getting the gate technology. The ISDF finds the piece in part of the flag ship near our galaxies outer most asteroid field, calculates its point of origin, and tries to find clues as to what happened, what that peice is for, and where to find more like it. They end up on wren, and I guess this is where they could first encounter the Hzarzk.

The swarm have nothing to do with this, or anything having to do with pods. Its just the Hzarzk spreading around the universe causing chaos until evidence from one of their battles ends up flying towards earth. Thats when we get involved and become part of this war between the Hzarzk and an allied force of different alien species.

 

There already is an origin for the ISDF. I think I need someone like Avatar to provide details about the Prometheans, and all these other races, and events... and what led up to them. He's pretty much the story guru. Calling Avatar! We need you! *puts up the avatar signal*

I'm not interested in ripping up large parts of my story and redoing it, its already good the way it is for the most part. I'm just looking for details and explinations for stuff thats already in it.

Like for existance. The Hzarzk were created by the scietists of a super intelligent ancient race of beings who were once one of the major players of the biometal wars. Maybe we've never heard of them, which would give us a chance to be more creative.

Anyway, this unnamed race commited horrible genetic experiments on their own young, resulting in a great deal of pain and suffering. Eventually they create the ultimate super soldier. Immune to most forms of biological warfare, stronger, faster, better eye sight. They announce the project as a success and create a huge army of super soldiers. However, something goes horribly wrong. A generation later, the offspring of the super soldiers develope a powerful bloodlust. They start to slowly mutate, and become even more poweful than the super soldiers. They grow to be up to 10 feet tall, grow larger boneier jaws, longer jagged teeth, cold black eyes, longer arms, stronger legs, and become more hunched over. They also develope powerful pherimone tracking senses, and the way they fight also develops into an animalistic nature. They become masters of geurilla warfare, often surrounding their prey quickly then ripping them to shreds with their claws and teeth.

They quickly overwhelm their own people, killing, torturing, and mutilating anything alive they can find. Their own race suffers the consiquences of their own horrible acts towards their own young.

The Hzarzk begin to breed, populate their new homeworld, and eventually learn to control the biometal technology left behind by their creators. By now their blood lust has grown, they need to kill. They leave their homeworld in search of other lifeforms to murder.

At about this time the Prometheans make the mistake of contacting them with peaceful intentions. The Hzarzk quickly attack, nearly killing them all. The Prometheans retreat back to their military stronghold, a planet made entirely of biometal (unnamed). The Hzarzk eventually overwelm them with their larger numbers and equal stength in biometal technology, and gain control of this massive biometal resource.

The Prometheans, desperate for help, form an alliance with a number of other species of life from near by galixies, which strike back at the Hzarzk, pushing them back. Millions of Hzarzk are exterminated, and they retreat to their homeworld. There, they begin to breed, doubling their previous numbers.

Twenty or so years later, the Hzarzk return, more determined than ever. A large number of them attack the Promethean homeworld where they learn of a new gate technology that can instantly transport them to other galexies where they can kill more than ever before. Over the next fifty years, they slowly invade the Prometheans' civilian world, killing every form of life they can find. They eventually destroy that world, killing everything off, leaving only billions of bodies rotting in the industrial wastes of a once thriving species. For now, fortunately, they do not know of the Prometheans homeworld. A holy place dedicated to the history of their species.

However, the automated defences and allied forces make their efforts to find the gate peices very difficult.

They do however learn of one peice being held in a battle ship holding orbit over a planet named Wren. They immediate attack this battleship, board it and nearly kill everyone on board in search of the second peice of the gate, while their main forces continue to fight for for the first peice on the Promethean civilian world. The captain realizing they're after the gate, activates self destruct, and the cargo section of the ship is mistakenly hurled away towards earth. The Hzarzk search the debris and planet for years, trying to find the missing gate peice but never locate it.

I guess the first meeting between the ISDF and the Hzarzk could happen on wren. A small outpost of scouts.

But there's a lot of information missing. Who is this race who created the Hzarzk? What's their backround? What kind of immoral genetic experiements did they commit? Why did it go wrong? Where they at war with the Hadeans? What about the other major players in the biometal wars? Where did they fit into that? What's the history of the Prometheans? Their language is similar to greek, so did they contact earth thousands of years ago? How did that effect the human race? What is the name of their original homeworld? What's the name of their civilian planet? What is the history behind it? What is the name of their biometal planet and where did it come from? Did they make it? The prometheans ARE rumored to have created biometal, but it could be a myth. Didn't the Cthoneans create it? Or was the the Hadeans? I'm rusty on my BZ1 trivia.

I've already figured out what the Hzarzk look like and what their vehicles generally look like. But what about the Prometheans? What did they look like, what kind of biometal technology did they use? What do their ships look like? Does the ISDF get to talk to the last remaining Prometheans behing guarded by the allied forces?

Who's in the allied forces? What are their names? What kind of biometl technology to they use? What do their ships look like?

Like I said, there's a LOT of missing details!!!

I don't think the actions of one man should shame an entire group to be honest. We don't hate germany after all.... time moves on and we learn to forgive and move on. We can't hold on to every little scrap of grudge and hate. It would consume us. Besides I like the ISDF, I always have. They're good, they've just been caught in the middle of bad circumstances. Other than what braddock did... I don't remember much else. What else did the ISDF do, and what where the circumstances?

I really like the name of the race you thought up of though. Kudos on that. I've been trying to find a name for them for weeks, but I couldn't think of anything.

I really want to see the ISDF return, and reinvent themselves with new technology, new morals, new ways of doing things... and keeping their noses clean from that point on, and being the symbol of hope for the earth they were supposed to be from the beginning.

You should release that Devil

You guys are really off topic. If you're not going to contribute to my thread, please post elsewhere.

So far, I've got the good guys (ISDF), the hero Lieutenant Mitchell, the extinct bad guys who created the bad guys (unamed race), the bad guys (Unnamed war criminal race), a nearly extinct race (Prometheans) who started the war by accident, a plague that nearly wipes out the ISDF forces, and an allied league of alien races you meet towards the end.

To me, the story sounds busy enough. I don't think it needs anymore action or drama. What it needs more now is details. The names of the races, scientific explanations of how the race of war criminals was created, ideas for new ISDF forces, more backround about the alien races, names for the allied alien races... and a whole lot of other stuff.